Gabriel's Thoughts After Therapy

The window. How had she connected that with the movies? You look through a window. The projection (He imagined a dark room with the light from the film projector). I wonder. Do I really project the faces of actresses on the Korean prostitute? Was she a blank screen? Was I really fantasizing about sex with starlets and actresses? I feel terrible. Is this what I am about? All those Caucasian girls I couldn't have sex with in high school... am I fulfilling those repressed desires through movies, and through a blank lover on whom I can put the faces of my desire. Is this where I am stuck at? I can't get out of this ditch. Why am I so obsessed with sex?

What happened to my noble goals? I wanted to help people. When I saw people suffering, I wanted to help them. But now what has happened. I've become obsessed with my little problems when my problems are resolved by helping people, by putting myself through a struggle, by transforming my hurt ego into an effective tool.