Magic Shampoo 1

Hi! My name is Derek. I work for Microsoft in the AI department. I'm not particularly attractive and I'm a bit shy. People scare me a little, especially women. I like work, especially the work I do at Microsoft. AI is fascinating. That we could create another being with consciousness, that is truly divine! I work 15 hours a day and then go home. I usually have a glass of wine, then, I watch something on television. I know, I lead a boring life, but I make lots of money which feeds my ego. I am doing something important. I am important. 

-You received a package from Amazon today. It's at the front door. 

Alexa says.

I open the front door and there is a package. I open the package and take out the product inside. It looks like a shampoo bottle. It says, "Magic," on it. On the back of the bottle, it says, "Irresistible to women. Lasts 12 hours. Apply all over hair and body."

I never ordered shampoo from Amazon. Who sent this to me? I look through my Amazon orders and there is no "Magic" shampoo. I search for "Magic" shampoo in Amazon and nothing pops up. I type "Magic Shampoo" in Google and nothing pops up. Is this a joke? Who's playing this joke on me? Is it someone at Microsoft playing this dumb joke on me?

-Alexa, is there a "Magic Shampoo?"

-There is no Magic Shampoo.

I look at the shampoo bottle again. There are no ingredients listed. It's a black, 24 ounce bottle. I try shaking it. I open up the bottle and look inside. It's clear and gel-like, and smells like nothing. What is this thing? I take a sample of the shampoo and put it on a plate.

-Alexa, what are the ingredients in this shampoo?

-Water and I cannot determine the rest.

This was surely a joke from someone in the AI department at Microsoft. Someone was making fun of me because I was asocial, awkward with women, and because someone believed that I thought I was superior to all of them. Someone was making fun of me because maybe I did not smell too good. Someone was telling me that, Oh, I did not know what someone was telling me.

Derek went upstairs and took a shower. He applied the Magic shampoo all over his hair and all over his body. He came out and looked in the mirror. He couldn't believe his eyes. He looked like Brad Pitt had looked in his twenties. He was about 6 foot tall with blonde, short hair. He had six pack abs. He had calm, blue eyes. Large eyes. What had happened to him? Actually, his eyes had a devilish glow about them that made him look different than the young, Brad Pitt. What had happened? Was this for real?