reflections on a golden Eye

I was young, I was innocent. i was living in narbeth, pennsylvania. the year was 1985 or circa. times were different back then. i was a girl child, sensitive, neurotic. on the first day of school, i think a blonde, blue-eyed girl named Brooke (I believe that was her name), was staring at me. a white girl never stared at me before. i was so nervous that i was almost frozen.

my mother never provided me with enough underwears. sometimes i went to school without underwear. i was so nervous. i think i stayed up all night thinking about why the girl stared at me. i just don't understand how i've become such a cocky, egoistical know-it-all. i've lost all my emotions and sensitivities. anyhow, i remember Alexis Bar. she was really smart and beautiful, i really admired her. and Linda Bloomberg, i think. I have a very associative mind, it's very Proustian, not Joycian. James Joyce sickens me a little. Alexis was very temperate and lovely. I used to have a big crush on her.