I like to talk walks at night. There's only my phone and the flashlight function on it that guides me. Fighting against my father is like fighting against the dark. It's so tough. He knows so much more than I do. He is so much smarter than me.
Hours and hours and days and nights I devote to mathematics. Some of my other grades are beginning to suffer. My father notices. And I am getting addicted to winning math contests. Maybe I am good at math. Maybe I can really excel. These days, when I see my father, I see the image of a giant shadow. This shadow has taken over my entire imagination. The shadow takes over the clouds, the planets, and the stars. Nothing can kill it. Nothing can burn it.
-Your school grades are not so good. Don't do so much mathematics. You need balance.
I can't hear a word my father is saying. Did he say something?
-Doing something too much can make you stupid.
There he goes speaking again. What did he say?
-Everything is math, isn't it?
He's actually showing some concern for me. It's amazing. He's actually figured out that I exist and that I am not a part of him.
Here I am again, eating with him. He virtually makes no noise as he eats. It's just amazing what a jerk he is. What gives him the right to hurt my feelings so much? He's just a man. But behind that indifferent face, I can FEEL a smile forming. He's feeling something. Could it be pride? I've won 8 contests in a row. I am rising to the national level of contests for math, MATH, and math.
After breakfast, mother says:
-You need to concentrate on schoolwork more. Don't get stupid.
Sometimes, I wonder what happens to stupid Koreans. It's like being stupid is that worst thing you can be if you're Korean. Maybe stupid Koreans lived in hell, burning away their stupidity until they grew some brains.