Angel

Angel

By Steve Laker

As she peered through the curtains and watched Danny walk down the
garden path, Lucy realised that this was the end. In her heart, she so
hoped that he'd be back, like all of the other times. This time though,
she knew that what she'd done would mean he was leaving for good. She
wiped a tear from her eye as the last words that he'd said to her
echoed in her head: "I'm sorry angel".

Danny looked back at the house as he opened the garden gate. He thought
he saw the living room curtains move, but could not be sure. Closing
the gate behind him, he pulled up the collar of his coat and put his
hands in the pockets. The frosty mist of the evening was illuminated by
the orange glow of the street lamps as he looked down the road ahead. A
huddled figure, he walked alongside the fences lining the street to
avoid the splashes from puddles as cars drove past.

Arriving at Rob and Sarah's house, he hoped they still lived there. He
pressed the doorbell and was relieved when the door opened and Rob's
surprised look greeted him from inside.

"Good God, look at the state of you", said Rob as he looked Danny up
and down. He ushered Danny in. "Come in. Christ, I can't believe it's
you. What brings you here?"

"I need to talk to someone, and you're the first person I thought of.
Is this okay? I'm not interrupting anything am I?" Danny looked through
the various doorways from the hall. "Where's Sarah?"

Rob sensed he was on edge. "Calm down mate. Yes it is, no you're not,
and she's away on a course. Let me take your coat." He helped Danny out
of his coat and shook it before hanging it on the radiator. "Come in
here and sit down". He led Danny into the living room.

Looking around, the room was just as Danny remembered it. He sat in an
armchair opposite Rob. "You've still got that then". He nodded toward
the coffee table, which was a piece of driftwood with a sheet of glass
on top. The top of the wood had been sawn to make a flat surface for
the glass, and miniature ladders, bridges and ropes led from various
protrusions to various others, as if it were home to a community of
miniature creatures.

"Yeah, Sarah's not too keen but I won't let her get rid of it. Do you
remember how long that took us to make?"

"A whole drunken weekend if I remember correctly. Sarah's okay
then?"

"She's fine. More to the point, what about you?"

"It's Lucy."

"Oh?"

"To cut a long story short, we had an argument and I've walked
out."

"What, just like that, and you're not going back?"
"I don't think she'll want me to go back. Like I said, it's a long
story. It's been going on for quite a while now and I think this was
the straw that broke the Camel's back."

"So, what were you arguing about?"

"Well that's exactly it, nothing really. It was one of those stupid
arguments that just blew up out of nothing." Danny's voice was growing
shaky and as Rob leaned forward, he noticed that Danny was looking at a
cut in the palm of his hand.

"Did Lucy do that?"

"It's nothing."

"Nothing? It looks quite nasty. What did she do it with?"

"She got hold of a knife. Really, it's nothing. It was an
accident."

"A knife? I wouldn't have thought she was capable, she's such a sweet
little thing."

"Really, it's not like her. She just got carried away. Like I said, it
was an accident."

Rob took hold of Danny's hand and examined the wound. It didn't look
too deep, but was still bleeding. "Come on, let's get that cleaned up."
He stood up and tugged at Danny's fingers.

The kitchen too was just as Danny remembered it. "Have you two done
anything with this place since I moved out?" Danny put his hand under
the cold tap as Rob turned it on.

"I've decorated the bedroom."

"And that's all you've got to show for a year's work?" Danny
smiled.

"Well, we like the rest. Anyway, this place holds some good memories
for me." Rob tore a sheet of kitchen paper from the roll next to the
sink.

"Me too. We had some good times here, me and you."

"That we did. There, I think you'll live. Do you fancy a drink?"

Danny took the towel from Rob and dried his hand. The bleeding had
stopped by now. "You got any beer?"

"No, Sarah don't drink remember?"

"Fancy the pub then?"

"If you're up to it."

"I'm fine. I've been going there quite a lot lately. Anyway, it's
Monday so it'll be quiet and we can talk."

"Okay, pub it is then. I'll phone a cab."

Apart from a couple of regulars in their usual places at the bar, the
pub was quiet. Rob and Danny sat at a table in the corner and talked of
the time they'd spent sharing the house that Rob now rented with Sarah.
They'd been regulars here for years, and it was here that they'd met
their girlfriends. Danny and Lucy got serious and Danny moved in with
her at the same time as Sarah moved in with Rob. That was just over a
year ago and now they were catching up on the lost time.

"So, how comes you stopped coming out?" Danny asked Rob.

"Well, if you're honest mate, we're both as guilty as each other there.
Sarah always preferred going to the cinema or going out for a
meal."

"Yeah, you're right. I suppose Lucy and me went a bit headfirst. I
mean, when I first moved in there we only wanted one another, so we
just stopped going out. We were going to buy our own place, so we
needed to save the money." Rob tilted his head back and gulped the
remainder of his pint.

"Don't you think that being so close together for so long might be part
of the problem? Same again?" Rob picked up Danny's glass.

"Sure." While Rob was at the bar, Danny thought about his last
question. When Rob returned, Danny said, "I think you're right you
know. Cheers." He picked up his drink and took a sip.

"Cheers", said Rob. "So, what was this argument about today that Lucy
saw fit to stab you?"

"She didn't stab me, it was an accident. Honestly, I can't remember. I
was off work today. I was owed a day's holiday, so I decided to call it
in as we both got a bit drunk last night. Anyway, when she got in she
said something about the place looking a mess. It just took off from
there really."

"And then she stabbed you?" Rob shook his head and chuckled.

Danny smiled as he recalled the image of Lucy with the knife. "She does
tend to get a bit frustrated when she can't get the last word. Usually
she'll just pummel my chest with her fists, and I'll stop her by
grabbing her wrists. It was when I tried getting the knife off of her
that I done this." Danny nodded toward his hand. "The thing is, it's
getting silly. I mean, we never used to argue. It's only been in the
last six months or so that we have, and the arguments have grown more
frequent and have been for more and more trivial reasons. I don't know,
maybe you're right; maybe we're too close."

Rob was nodding. "Perhaps you should have a break, give her some space.
You're welcome to stay with me for a while."

"Thanks mate. I've tried getting out of her way when she gets like
that. I've become a bit of a regular down here lately in fact."

"Do you think this might be partly to blame?" Rob held up his empty
glass.

Danny swirled the last few gulps of his beer around the bottom of the
glass before tipping back his head and pouring it down his throat.
"Quite probably, and the fact that we both drink more than we should
probably doesn't help. Another?"

"Yes please. I'm going for a piss."

As they both returned to their seats, the creaking of the door opening
interrupted the silence in the pub. Customers being somewhat of a
rarity on a Monday night, everyone in the pub turned to see who would
enter. It was Lucy. She looked around the pub and walked over to the
table where Rob and Danny sat. She was not as Rob remembered her. She
was still small and thin, but heavy make up covered the smooth, natural
skin that he recalled. Her mascara was smudged, and her eyes looked
puffy, as though she had been crying. Where once she seemed shy and
dressed modestly, now she was wearing a short skirt and a cropped top
which revealed a badly applied fake tan.

She stood silently for a while, as though waiting for Danny to say
something. Danny looked her up and down before turning back to his
drink.

"I thought I might find you here", Lucy said. "Are you coming home
later?"

"I don't know. Maybe", he replied, not taking his gaze from his
glass.

"Have you got your key?"

"No."

"I'll leave mine in the flower pot if you do come home."

Danny didn't reply and Rob felt uncomfortable with the two of them. "Do
you want me to go?" he asked.

Lucy gave the hint of a smile before saying, "No, I'll go. See you
later then." She touched Danny's shoulder, but he shrugged it
away.

Rob watched Lucy as she walked away, and the regulars at the bar turned
to look when they heard the creak as she opened the door. Rob looked at
Danny. "What's up with you?"

"I really don't know what to do. One half of me thinks we should call
it a day. I thought that's what she wanted till then. I do love her
though, and I don't think I could face losing her."

"Well, you heard her. She wants you to go back, and she was in a
state."

"No, she looked a state. I don't know what that was about. She never
dresses like that, or wears make up."

"Maybe she's trying to get you to notice her."

"Well that worked. No, if I go back it'll only all happen again."

"I don't think so. From what you've been telling me, this time I'd say
it's different. She's never come looking for you before has she?"

"No."

"Well then, she obviously feels bad about what happened. Tell you what,
if you don't want to go back tonight, you're welcome to stay at mine. I
don't think you should let her go though. You obviously love
her."

"I do, I really do. She's the best thing that ever happened to me.
She's my little Angel."

"That's your pet name for her?" Rob rolled his eyes toward the ceiling
and chuckled.

Danny smiled as if thinking fond thoughts. He stared at his drink and
said, "yes, and I'm her big monster." The two of them laughed. "Every
time we have an argument, I always end up being the one to apologise.
It's always 'I'm sorry Angel.'" Danny's voice took on a tone of
self-mockery as he said this.

The two of them continued to drink and reminisce about old times. They
spoke of their respective relationships, and as the drinks flowed Danny
spoke more and more of his love for Lucy. He couldn't live without her,
he said. She meant more to him than anything else in the world, and he
would do whatever it took to make sure they were okay.

By closing time, Rob was convinced that Danny had made up his mind.
"You're still welcome to stay at mine Dan. You're pretty drunk
mate."

"No, I'll be fine. Where did she say she'd leave her key?" Danny
stumbled as he stood up.

"In the flowerpot. Do you want me to walk with you?"

"No. Thanks, but the walk will give me time to think. Then I'll get
home to my Angel and sort all of this out."

Outside the air was cold and the mist still hung in the air. As the two
of them spoke, their words were visible as puffs of steam coming from
their mouths. "How about I meet you here tomorrow night?" said Rob.
"You can let me know how it went."

"Yeah, fine. About seven?"

"Fine. Listen, good luck mate." Rob patted Danny on the back.

"Thanks. And thanks for tonight."

"No problem, I just hope you two are okay."

"We will be. See you tomorrow." Danny grasped Rob's arm for a second
and they went their separate ways.

Lucy tried to recall the dream that she'd just been having. She
realised she was awake now, and listened for the dog barking or people
shouting outside, but heard nothing that would have woken her. She
pulled the blankets back around her, curled into the foetal position,
and buried her chin in her chest to continue her dream.

As images of her and Danny began to filter back into her mind, she
remembered them on a beach. She was lying on her back and he was
astride her. As she gazed at the stars behind him, he said that she was
his angel, and then she was awake again. There was a ringing sound in
her ears, then came a jolt to her head, and she felt a shooting pain
across her brow. Then another blow struck her. Her nose stung and her
eyes filled with tears. She looked into the darkness around her, but
could see nothing. She lifted her hands to push her attacker away, but
felt them grasped by unseen hands and pinned to the bed. The weight on
top of her was too great to escape. The unseen hands were now tight
around her neck. She choked for breath and just managed to gasp, "Why
me?" Growing weak, she stopped struggling and hoped that it would soon
be over. The overwhelming urge to sleep was now undeniable and she let
it take her. As she drifted away, the weight lifted off of her. She was
gripped by a feeling of warmth as someone embraced her and a warm
breeze entered her ear, carrying the words, "I'm sorry angel".

Rob glanced at the clock above the bar as he walked back to the table
with his second drink. Danny always used to be about half an hour late
when they used to meet here, so he'd be in any minute he thought. As he
sat down, he heard the creaking door open, as if Danny had heard his
cue. He stood up to meet him at the bar, but it was not Danny but Lucy
who entered. She walked over to him and smiled. She looked as though
she had been crying again, but seemed relaxed. She had a large sports
bag slung over her tiny shoulders.

As he stood before her, Rob took hold of her hand. "Are you
okay?"

"I'm fine. Listen, I need some space so I'm going away for a while."
She squeezed his fingers.

"What's happened? Is Dan okay?"

"He's fine. We had a bit of an argument last night, but I've sorted it
out. Listen, I won't be needing these for a while." Lucy pulled her
keys from her pocket. "Why don't you go round and see him?"

The television was turned to what seemed like full volume in the living
room, so Rob couldn't be sure that Danny could hear him call as he
walked up the stairs. The bathroom door was open, so he could only be
in the bedroom, he thought. The door was closed, so he knocked but
there was no answer. As he pushed the door open, all was dark inside
and the curtains were drawn. As he peered in, he could just make out
the shadow of Danny's figure, crashed out with arms spread out to
either side on the bed. He thought of leaving him to rest, but then
thought he should check on him, given the Lucy thing and reached in to
switch on the light.

Leaning over the sink, Rob watched the vortex of water from the sink
carry away the last fragments of his vomit. Returning to the bedroom,
the sound of a grown man's horrified screams echoed in his head. It was
a sound that he'd never heard before, but one that had emanated from
his own mouth. Shaking almost uncontrollably, he opened the bedroom
door again and was overcome with a different emotion. Sinking to his
knees he sobbed, as he looked into Danny's eyes, wide open as his head
hung over the end of the bed, and surrounded by blood that had run from
his open mouth. A crumpled piece of paper had been stuffed to the back
of his throat. Rob pulled it out and buried his head in his hands and
rubbed his eyes before looking up again.

The walls and floor were covered in blood, the bed soaked in it. Danny
was naked, and had been slashed open from his neck to his navel. His
arms were outstretched and his legs crossed at the ankles. His rib cage
had been broken open and pulled apart, so that now his ribs lay over
his arms, each one separated from the next so that they resembled
wings.

Rob unscrewed the piece of paper. He read the words that had been
written on it in mascara:

Bye "Angel".

xxx

? Steve Laker, 1999 - 2000