Charge of the Neanderthal Fire Brigade

Charge of the Neanderthal Fire Brigade.

"Summer's here, let's build a fire,"
Shouts Father from the sack.
"I'll mow the lawn and trim the hedge,
With suncream on my back.

"And then, when it's nearly Nine,
I'll come in for some toast,
You'll help me build an enormous blaze,
And sausages we'll roast.

"When everyone is waking up,
I'll fix things in the shed,
A million nails I'll find to bang,
And whistle to wake up the dead.

"So, spark up the petrol mower,
Get the chainsaw from the van,
We'll be done and drunk by midday,
Get it done quick, that's my plan.

"We'll have everyone 'round for a party,
With music and dancing 'til Three,
Give us a hand clearing the pit,
And we'll chop up some logs from this tree."

"What about the neighbours?" says Mum
"Don't you think they'll object?
I mean, it's half-past Six in the morning,
You ought to ask them, direct."

"That's like everything I do for this family
You always have to pick holes!"
And he slumped down in front of the cartoons,
And waited 'til Ten for the Bowls.