Fake Wikipedia page for non existent sitcom spinoff movie - Bobby's Beat Abroad

Bobby’s Beat Abroad is a 1980 British comedy film direct by Cliff Owen and staring Felicity Kendal, Peter Jones, Robin Asquith and Sid James and written by Dave Clark and Andrew Weekes.

If was the first and only spin-off from the TV sitcom Bobby’s Beat (1978-81) and is set in the Spanish holiday resort of El Plonko.  

Cast 

PC Bobby Fisher – Felicity Kendall 

Sgt Eric Bampot – Peter Jones 

Emilo Gray – Roger Moore 

Sid Greaves – Sid James 

Enid Wailing - June Whitfield

Rick Shaw – Robin Asquith 

Terry White – Derek Griffiths 

Julio Iglesias - himself

Plot 

Sgt Bampot (Peter Jones) is asked by former colleague Emilo Gray (Roger Moore), now chief of police in Spanish resort El Plonko, to help tackle a crime wave, as local villain Juanito the Bandito has been robbing British tourist hotels in the area. PC Bobby Fisher (Felicity Kendall) decides to come along for a free holiday to top up her tan, but gets roped into the investigation. 

Meanwhile, local rogue Sid Greaves has also ended up in El Plonko, having been nagged by new girlfriend June Whitfield to take her “somewhere  I can wear a bikini without me tits turning blue”.  Whilst there, however, Sid gets distracted from his new beau by the plethora of bikini-clad beauties and gambling on the local donkey racing.  

Rick Shaw (Robin Asquith) is also in the town, to flog a batch of knock-off bikinis (“knock-offs for knockers). However, the bikinis have a flaw, which causes them to fall off in water, which leads to Rick Shaw being chased along the beach by lots of angry (and now topless) bathers. 

The three parties are brought together for the hotel dance night, which features a guest appearance by Julio Iglesias, who proceeds to get covered by various glasses of sangria as the three groups get into a series of arguments. 

Bampot spends the trip arresting and harassing entirely innocent people (mostly for the crime of ‘looking foreign) but returns to the hotel to find Juanito the Bandito in action, robbing his hotel room. A chase follows, involving Bampot and Bobby on borrowed bicycles chasing Juanito through the streets of El Plonko. He is eventually stopped when he crashes into a donkey, on which Sid had bet the remainder of his holiday money.  

Terry White (Derek Griffiths), meanwhile, has decided to move to Spain to clean windows there, “to escape the idiot policemen who are always knocking me off me ladder”.  He is seen again in the finale, where he is knocked off his ladder during the chase scene.  

Reception 

Barry Norman said of this film that if you watch one TV spin off movie then you’ve already seen this one, so you might as well give it a miss. 

Box Office 

Released in summer 1981, the film suffered from its potential viewers leaving the country for their holidays in Spain, an irony not lost on Peter Jones who described the release date as “A complete arse up by the powers that be” during an interview on Parkinson. The film just about broke even, but ensured that there was no second movie and may have contributed to the TV series ending after the second series.