A hundred moments in autism - Terrence goes to Tescos

I am home alone for the bank holiday weekend, with Mrs Oblong away rehearsing with her comedy partner.   

I spend the weekend slobbing about in the same shorts and T shirt, wearing them in the garden, watching TV and for playing on the computer, sometimes even doing some writing. However, at some point I need to pop out to the local Tesco for mushrooms for the evening’s curry, so I change into a new T shirt and jeans for my journey.    

Back home, I change back and slob around in old T shirt and shorts again. Later that day, Mrs Oblong messages me to say that she is coming home early, so I have to pop out again for additional victuals, so once more I change into jeans and this time a different T shirt.  

This is an example of autistic masking. 

Like many autists I like wearing the same clothes.  When I feel comfortable in baggy, sensory-friendly clothes and I can wear the same outfit for days.  I wash them when they become unclean, but if it wasn’t for social pressure I would wear the same clothes for days on end.  

My masking comes from my childhood. Though I don’t recall any particular incident, I must have been teased and bullied for wearing the same clothes on successive days, the scars are still there, I feel them, every time I leave the house I think carefully about what to wear, to avoid being seen wearing the same clothes over and over.   

I carefully rotate my clothing so that I’m not wearing the same clothes to work, or out socially if I’m seeing the same people. 

And even a visit to Tesco brings out my deep-set need to mask.