Moira Lambert’s glamping site

“We’re here at last,” I said to my wife, as we passed the sign. “Moira Lambert’s glamping site.” 

“I’ve heard of Moira Lambert, haven’t I?” she said. 

“She had a big hit in the 90s.  She was the singer on St Etienne’s ‘Only Love can Break Your Heart’.” 

“And now she’s running a glamping site?” 

“Apparently.” 

We pulled up to the entrance.  A woman at the gate greeted us. 

“Moira Lambert’s Glamping site,” she said. “Have you booked?” 

“Yes, Mr and Mrs Deveraux.” 

“Ah yes, you’re booked for the full week. Your spot is along the track about half a mile, to the right, just before the shower block.” 

“I hope you don’t mind my asking, but I recognise you from somewhere. Are you Moira Lambert?” 

“No, people often make that mistake. I’m Lucie Gillie from Golden, I was in the Only Love can break your heart video – Moira was unavailable at the time and I was asked to step in.” 

“Why are you still covering for her 30 years later?” 

“We stayed in touch. She isn’t able to man the gate at the moment and asked me to step in again.” 

We drove along the track towards the shower block.   

“I can’t see our spot,” I said to my wife, as we approached the showers. 

“Ask that woman there, she looks like she works here. 

“Excuse me, we’ve booked a space but can’t find our spot.  Mr and Mrs Deveraux.” 

 

“Ah yes, you’re just there,” she pointed to a space to our right, next to the big red tent. 

“Thank you,” I said.  “I hope you don’t mind my asking, are you Moira Lambert?” 

“No, everyone makes that mistake.  I’m Sophie Nash, from Golden, I made a brief appearance in the Only Love Can Break Your Heart video.  We stayed in touch.” 

I had set up the tent when I heard someone say "knock, knock” outside my door.  

“Hello,” I said.  A man popped his head through the flap. 

“Hi, I’m Tom,” he said. “We’re the big red tent next to you.” 

“Hi, I’m Mark, this is Karen.” 

“How you settling in?” 

“Fine thanks, only my air pump isn’t working.” 

“You can borrow Frank Sinatra’s electric air pump.” 

“Frank Sinatra’s air pump? I never know that he was selling his own air pump.” 

“It’s not merchandise, it’s his actual air pump. He lent it to me at an outdoor festival in the early 60s, he wasn’t there when I went to return it. You can borrow it – though let me have it as soon as you’ve finished, you never know when Frank is going to ask for it back.” 

“Thanks.  This may seem a silly question, does Moira Lamber actually run the site, it was Lucie Gillie on the gate.  You know, from the video.” 

“Oh yes, I’ve seen her about, but she’d gets the girls from Golden to do most of the work. I’ve even seen Sarah Cracknell helping out,” 

“I’m not sure I’d even recognise her. Are you sure it was her?” 

“Yes, we watched her on Four In A Bed, it’s the reason we came to her glamping site.  I’ve seen her about, you know.” 

The next day I’d been to play tennis with Tom. Walking back, we passed a middle aged woman.” 

“This is Moira Lambert,” Tom said.  “Moira, this is one of your new campers, Mark Deveraux.” 

“I’m not Moira Lambert,” said the woman. “ ’m Heather Womack.” 

“But I  recognise you from the TV show, 4 in a bed. Moira Lambert’s glamping site episode.” 

“Oh, I was just covering for her. She was unavailable for filming.”