The Three Halves of Martyn Manning-Chapter Thirteen: Induction - Part Three

They
held a leaving party for Caroline. Martyn thoughtlessly booked a room
at The Feathers but the kids said they wanted it at McDonald’s so
he had to cancel. Caroline thought about it and decided she wanted
the party when she was all packed up and ready to go so that after
she’d said her goodbyes she could just drive off into the
metaphorical sunset. It was a Tuesday morning and that most beautiful
of September days, bright and crisp with a fragile and brittle blue
sky, unlikely to be seen again till March. Caroline’s
newly-acquired but used Toyota was parked on the drive and Martyn was
helping her load up. It was a small car and was quickly filled, even
though she didn’t actually have much stuff. Elena was inside the
house watching TV with the kids, flicking between American wrestling
for Felix and Peppa Pig for Katie. The previous day Martyn had called
the kids’ headmistress and she was cool with them taking a few
hours off to say goodbye.

 

“It’s
a bloody long way to St Andrews, Caroline,” said Martyn as he
hoisted the last box into the boot. “What is it? It was about six
or seven hours when we used to drive to Edinburgh and it’s another
couple of hours after that. What time do you think you’re gonna get
there?”

 

“Oh
Lord! I’m not driving all the way there tonight! I’m not
completely insane. I’ve got an auntie in Carlisle and I’m gonna
stay the night with her. Carlisle’s about half-way there so it’s
perfect!”

 

They
set off in a mini convoy at midday. Martyn led off in his Volvo with
Felix in the passenger seat beside him. Elena and Katie were in the
back. Caroline followed at a safe distance behind. Felix and Katie
each held a gift-wrapped present for Caroline, while Elena held a
bigger and heavier one from Martyn. They drove mainly in silence.
When they arrived they were shown to their reserved party area
festooned with brightly coloured balloons. A glittery banner hanging
from the wall declared “GOODBYE CAROLINE” to anyone who cared to
read it. The place was starting to fill up with the early lunch crowd
of office workers and delivery drivers but the party area was
recessed and it was unlikely that any other customers would bother
them.

 

“They’ve
made a decent job” said Martyn, to no-one in particular.

 

The
meal passed quickly in the usual shouty endearing and chaotic haze
that young children and Happy Meals alchemically create. The children
loved being fussed over by two nannies rather than one, which kept
the level of inter-sibling misbehaviour to a minimum, even when Felix
attempted to steal a handful of Katie’s fries and Katie punched him
in the face. Then Caroline stood up.

 

“Excuse
me kids, I’ve got to nip to the loo. Back in a minute. You two make
sure you behave yourselves for Elena while I’m away!”

 

As
the door to the loo’s closed behind her Martyn inclined his head
toward Elena and spoke softly.

 

“You’re
quiet Elena? You don’t seem your usual self.”

 

Elena
shrugged without meeting his eye.

 

“It’s
Caroline’s party, not mine.”

 

“I
hope nothing’s wrong?”

 

Elena
shrugged again.

 

He
turned back to the remains of his burger and considered her response.
It seemed a little out of character. Of course he didn’t know Elena
that well, he’d only known her a few days, but previously she’d
always been vibrant and bubbly, especially around the kids. Could it
be the prospect of the impending sex? Surely not. She’d known about
that from Day One. And he hoped it wasn’t, he didn’t want any
downers or first night nerves. He wanted it to be fun, for both of
them. He was about to leave it at that and move on when it dawned on
him that actually Caroline had also been rather quiet, you could even
say withdrawn and distant, for the past couple of days. He wondered
if Caroline and Elena had had a fall-out, or if maybe he was just
imagining things. No! Of course! What an idiot he was! Caroline was
obviously upset to be leaving the kids for who she’d cared for so
long and clearly nervous for her new but unknown life at university.
That was it. He could relax. About Caroline anyway. Caroline returned
from the loo and re-took her seat between Katie and Felix. Martyn
finished the last mouthful of his burger and stood up.

 

“OK
kids! Who wants a McFlurry?”

 

He
placed his hands in front of him, palms outward, and pretended to
brace himself against the cacophony of the kids’ response.

 

“Yes
Dad!”

 

“Please
Dad!”

 

“Dad,
Dad! Can I have the M&M’s one?”

 

“Dad!
Dad! I want the Oreo’s one!”

 

Katie
punched Felix on the shoulder.

 

“Oreo’s
are best. M&M’s smell.”

 

Martyn
smiled an indulgent parent’s smile.

 

“OK,
OK! I’m sure Elena won’t mind going get them. And when she comes
back what do you think we might do while you’re eating your
McFlurries?”

 

There
was a brief moment of silence as both kids tried to work out what
their father was talking about. Then Katie piped up:

 

“Play
Peppa Pig!”

 

“Ha
ha ha! No darling. We can’t play Peppa Pig here, I promise we’ll
play when we get home. Something else! Think! What shall we do while
you’re eating your McFlurrys? What’s special about today?”

 

Another
pause then Katie again, her face bursting with childish excitement.

 

“Presents!
Give Caroline her presents!”

 

Felix
was clearly annoyed that his younger sister had beaten him to the
answer. He tried to get her back.

 

“Your
present’s crap anyway, it’s only..”

 

Caroline
tapped his hand faux-sharply.

 

“Felix!
Please Felix! And please stop using language like that. You’ll get
me in trouble!”

 

Elena
arrived back with the McFlurries and as the kids tucked in she
reached under her chair for the bag where she’d put the children’s
presents for safe-keeping. Martyn’s present was much bigger and
heavier and was resting on the bench next to him.

 

“OK!
Who’s first?”

 

Katie
had been planning for this and was first to respond. She could barely
contain herself. She flung up her hand.

 

“Me
me me!”

 

“OK,
you first Katie.”

 

Felix
looked crestfallen, he’d been outsmarted by his younger sister
again. Elena reached into her bag and handed the present across the
table to Katie who passed it straight on to Caroline beside her on
the bench. Her childish face couldn’t hide that she didn’t really
know what to say, so Caroline filled the gap.

 

“Oh
thank you Katie, that’s lovely, so kind. I wonder what it is?”

 

She
really did wonder what it was. The box was about 30cm long and 15 cm
square and was wrapped in colourful shiny paper with recurring motifs
of popping champagne bottles, balloons and the words “Good Luck”.
In fact, if it hadn’t been so light it looked for all the world as
if it was indeed a presentation box of champagne. She gently shook
the box.

 

“Oooh!
I can feel something moving around.”

 

“Guess
what it is!” Katie was almost beside herself.

 

Caroline
put on a thoughtful face for a few seconds.

 

“Oh
Katie! I can’t guess! I’m too excited. I’m going to open it.”

 

Without
waiting for an answer she quickly tore off the wrapping paper and
lifted the lid of the box. Inside was a cylinder of paper which she
assumed was packing and laid aside. Beneath that was a small
transparent polythene bag containing a piece of plastic of various
primary colours.

 

“Oh
Katie! A Peppa Pig watch! That’s so sweet! Thank you!”

 

She
reached down and gave Katie a hug and kiss. She was genuinely
pleased, the watch might be a fun ice-breaker at university. She
wondered who’d purchased it. It must have been Martyn as Elena
hadn’t had time and had hardly been out of her sight. If she
thought Martyn had actually put any thought into it she’d have
thought it was quite thoughtful.

 

“Peppa
Pig Peppa Pig!” squealed Katie. “Now look at the paper!”

 

Caroline
had completely forgotten about the piece of paper. She reached down
and picked it up from the bench beside Katie.

 

“What
on earth can this be?” she said, feigning a curious tone.

 

She
pushed aside the meal debris and unravelled the paper cylinder,
laying it flat on the table before her. She saw a crayon drawing and
recognised Katie’s childish hand. The drawing depicted four
figures, two taller ones, clearly a man and a woman, and two smaller
ones, clearly a boy and a girl. All four figures were holding hands.

 

“Oh
Katie! That’s nice! A picture of Mummy and Daddy and you and Felix!
I’ll put it on my bedroom wall in St Andrews and look at it every
day to remind me of you all. Thank you! That’s lovely.”

 

Katie’s
smile was replaced with a look of uncertainty. She hesitated.

 

“No
Caroline, it’s not Mummy, it’s you.”

 

It
was Caroline’s turn to hesitate.

 

“Oh
yes, she’s got blue eyes not brown. Silly me. Thanks Katie, that’s
lovely!”

 

But
“That’s weird” was what she was thinking. Katie was clearly too
young to even begin to comprehend the concept of physical intimacy,
but children do pick up on things. Remembering her conversation with
Elena she began to wonder if she’d somehow been behaving in such a
way as to give people the impression that her and Martyn were closer
than they were? She glanced at Martyn but he was adding sugar to his
coffee and looked completely absent. Did other people think that her
relationship with Martyn was more than just employer and employee?
But then she supposed that when a man and a woman lived in the same
house there would always be gossip, particularly in a small village.
She tried to put it out of her head.

 

Meanwhile
Elena was thinking along exactly the same lines. Had Caroline been
entirely truthful in their conversation of Friday night when she
denied any intimate relationship with Martyn? To move things on she
reached into her bag and handed his present to Felix, who being older
than his sister felt he should show a more mature and adult approach
to the whole thing. Besides that, he’d twice been out-manoeuvred by
his younger sister and over the course of the meal had become slowly
convinced that his present, which he’d intended to be thoughtful
and intimate, was actually just a shred of faded cloth. Consequently
by now he was not in the most receptive of moods. He tossed the
package to Caroline then returned to his McFlurry.

 

“That’s
from me.”

 

The
package Caroline was holding was a globe, about six inches in
diameter, halfway in size between a cricket ball and a football, but
it was soft, irregular and easily deformed. She had no idea what it
was. Clothing of some sort? A scarf?

 

“Thanks
Felix! Golly, I’ve no idea what this is. I’d suppose I’d better
open it and find out.”

 

After
the first tear of the wrapping paper she knew exactly what it was.
Many years ago it had started life as a brightly coloured Rupert Bear
cot blanket. As Felix grew it became his comfort blanket or “Blanky”
as he called it. As the years passed he was seldom seen without it,
in fact if it was ever misplaced or unavailable for more than a few
minutes Felix would become traumatised and throw a tantrum. But the
years had not been kind to Blanky. It had been subject to constant
use and repeated washing, and with each wash it had disintegrated a
little more, and with each disintegration it was re-stitched and with
each re-stitch it lost a little more of its substance and shape. She
now held in her hands a shapeless, unidentifiable and washed out
bundle of dirty looking rag. Felix looked up to gauge Caroline’s
reaction, fearing the worst.

 

“I’m
too old for it now. You can have it.”

 

But
she wasn’t disappointed. On the contrary, she was honoured. She
knew how much Blanky had meant to Felix, and indeed still did.

 

“Oh
Felix. Blanky! And it’s all clean and smells lovely! I’m going to
put it under my pillow and I’ll dream about you every night.” She
laughed. “Do you remember that time we left it in the pub when we
visited Auntie Sally and I had to drive all the way back to get it?
And who washed it for you? Elena? Elena, how did you wash it without
me seeing?”

 

Throughout
this Martyn sat occasionally sipping his coffee, his gaze passing
between Caroline and Elena. God, Caroline was looking damned good
today. He really should have tried it on while he had the chance. OK,
he realised he was old enough to be her father, but you never know,
some young women were attracted to older men, or so they said. He’d
like to bet she was a sensational fuck, a real little wriggler. He
sighed. Never worry. Actually, Elena was looking pretty good as well.
Not long now, just a couple more weeks of wanking. An image of her
energetically riding him passed briefly through his mind. He began to
feel himself firming up, but it wasn’t the time or place, so he
forced himself to concentrate on how much he disliked the government.

 

Returning
to the room he realised it was his turn to hand over a present. He
hoped she liked it. He expected she would. No reason she wouldn’t.
He supposed he ought to say something to thank her for her years of
service. Oh lord, he hadn’t prepared anything, he’d just have to
wing it. He picked up his present and got to his feet. He cleared his
throat.

 

“Well
Caroline, here we are, the end of an era. Who’d have thought it? I
remember the first day you arrived at The Old Rectory, it seems so
long ago. You were very shy and nervous and we really thought you
might not last, but look at you, two years later, and now you’re
part of the family.”

 

Caroline
was engaged in fastening the Peppa Pig watch on Katie’s wrist.
Felix had both of his feet on the bench and Elena was tying his
shoelaces. Martyn raised his voice a notch.

 

“Excuse
me everybody! I’m trying to make an important announcement here!”

 

Caroline
turned round briefly to look at Martyn then returned to admiring the
watch on Katie’s wrist. He realised he was clearly wasting his time
and nobody was paying a blind bit of attention. He tapped Caroline on
the shoulder.

 

“Here’s
your present. It’s quite heavy. Where shall I put it?”

 

She
cleared a space on the table in front of her.

 

“Oh
thanks Martyn, just pop it down there.”

 

He
put it down and returned to his seat. He sat quietly, nursing his
coffee for a couple of minutes and gazing around the room till he was
brought back by the sound of Caroline’s voice.

 

“OK
kids! Shall we have a look at what Daddy bought me?”

 

Suddenly
everyone was paying attention.

 

“Open
it! Open it” squealed Katie. “I know what it is!”

 

“So
do I!” said Felix, determindly not squealing.

 

After
one rip of the wrapping Caroline knew exactly what the present was.

 

“Oh
great! A coffee maker! The same as the one at the house. Wonderful! I
love the coffee it makes. That’s great! Thank you Martyn!” It was
said with a smile but her eyes seemed not to have heard.

 

“Yes,
as you know it’s top of the range. I knew you liked it. You’ll be
able to entertain all your new friends in Scotland.” Martyn beamed,
pleased with himself at Caroline’s pleasure.

 

No
Martyn, she thought, I only said I liked it to be polite. All in all
I prefer a nice cup of Earl Grey. Oh well.

 

“Well,
I won’t take it out of the box now, I don’t want it to get
damaged. I hope it fits in the car!”