Edge of the Universe

I once walked to the edge of the universe and all I found was a load
of dust and drag. It laid beside the universe in the form of a dozing
hobo. It was an overwhelming mass of excess. It bewildered my senses to
see such a sight. Bedazzled, I wondered how I was able to reach the
edge of the universe. My smarts were only average, my looks a shade
above sub par, my social status entrenched in mediocrity. Strange for
such an honor to be bestowed upon a simple man as me. I took out a pear
just before I left and began to consume it. I ate half the fruit and
turned to walk away. With my back turned I heard a voice. Turning
around I saw the weary hobo raise his head and say, "Hey, how'd you
find me?" I responded, "About a mile back the road pitchforked and
presented me with three possible paths. One high, one low, and one down
the middle. I chose the center." I handed the remanants of the
half-eaten pear to the hobo and walked back to my home.