Green-eyed Monster

I'm not going to try to write sense anymore. i don't care if you
think it's shit, what matters is I wrote it and I accept it.
Wanted to tell you how miserable I am. Last week things were really
coming together for me. I was supposedly seeing someone, and he was
picking me up and taking me out. I gave him chances before when he let
me down. Guess what? He let me down, fucking good and proper. Didn't
even turn up. I sat and waited, looking expectantly out of the window
for two hours. I booked the night off work. I spent time on myself to
impress him. Wouldn't answer the phone and still isn't two days
later.
The man I really want is dating some slapper named Pree-what kind of a
name is that?!!! We're fuck buddies. He only wants me for sex. He won't
be with me because apparently
"I'm young, meeting new people, doing new things, constantly changing,
moving on." Whatever. Why did he take her instead of me? She fits into
his lifestyle apparently. I've known him longer, I know what makes him
tick. I know where he likes to be licked and stroked. She? Well SHE
just turned up, tore my world in two and took him away from me. Now
he's dropped me. I know he wants me. Ok, so it's only for sex but he
wants me. At least I have that to hold onto. So, I tried the 'friends'
approach and asked him out for a drink-you know, just mates having a
laugh, and then home, alone. Wanna know what he said?
"Not right now, because we haven't had time to cool off and we'd just
end up in bed together."
I swear I let myself hurt too easily, but I hate being alone. I want
someone to tell me they love me, to wake up next to without
regrets.
Am I asking too much?
Answers on a postcard.