Memories and Thoughts

I sit here, playing with some beads. Meaningful music in the
background. Tic, tac, beads clicking, cogs working. The roll back to
the distant past, pulled forward, maybe against it's will, maybe
forced. The way she talked to someone else, what tone did she have? Did
she use the same with me? I should've acted differently. That time she
didn't talk, what was the reason? Perhaps a love so deep, words were
too attached to her heart to leave, perhaps a hate so pure she couldn't
waste breath on me. The delays, were they out of contempt or
shyness?

All the past has for me is memories, like the present. A ship sailing
through a swamp with no captain, no helmsman and a lazy crew. The
distance between me and the door seems to grow every second, the chair
swallows me deeper still. The destination is unobtainable to me like
this, but not like that. It's a journey to a place to begin a new
journey. Memories and thoughts, all I have left. Maybe tomorrow will
bring a new dawn, or maybe the clouds will cover any rays that want to
get through.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.