Inside the mind of the home secretary

Homelessness was my lifestyle choice ? Does cosmo tell you which cardboard boxes are in this season ? I do nt want to be seen in the wrong soup kitchen and the glamping tent has never been used , well it’s less than five star . Less than Stella is not for me.

Who knew I had a choice?  if I d I d known that I might have picked the lifestyle of a Saudi oil prince instead.  Making love to a male model before breakfast ,then a trip in the private jet is the ideal way to start the day, do nt you think ? Then off to Elon’s house to see his new rocket or robot or repurposed human work force with Chinese government thought control what a scamp, he’s South African you know? 

People say I’m out of touch and I don’t understand about the credit crunch but I totally understand that it’s getting harder by the year to send your children to the best private school in London. Must be so hard for people who went to state school I mean they can’t afford the best servants.