The Faithful Beauregard (Or Buttons Gets The Girl)

Once there was a very poor peasant lad named Beauregard who loved an equally poor peasant girl named Elsa and longed to marry her.

 

But in spite of being poor Elsa dreamed of marrying a man who was rich,

 

“A count or a duke or even a wealthy merchant; one with a fleet of ships who lives in a mansion”, she told him.

 

And, though she liked Beauregard, she looked down on him; not just because he was poor but also because he had no ambition.

 

Beauregard, you see, was happy with being poor. His only dream; the only thing he truly craved, he said, was Elsa’s hand in marriage.

 

“If I had your love”, he said to her, “I wouldn’t need anything else in the world. I would be prince enough”.

 

However, one day, there came into their village a very wealthy nobleman, named Prince Ostinado who said that he was looking to find a wife and to make her a princess and take her to live in his castle and, the moment that he saw Elsa he seemed immediately to fall in love with her and in a large golden coach he arrived at her little shack and, one of his many servants knocking at her door, he proposed marriage to her.

 

Now of course Elsa was over the moon because Prince Ostinado seemed to her like the perfect catch; not only was he a prince but he was also very handsome and, immediately and without thinking, Elsa said yes.

 

But also, of course, Beauregarde because he loved Elsa so much was very jealous and tried all that he could to talk Elsa out of marrying the prince.

 

“How could you love a man you’ve only just met?”, he said to her, “How can you marry a man you don’t even know?”.

 

But Elsa, bedazzled by the prince’s wealth and fairy tale ideas of becoming a princess, seemed convinced that she was deeply in love and even became angry at poor Beauregarde when he tried

criticize the prince.

 

“Why the Prince is a wonderful man; a true gentleman”, she said to Beauregarde, “And its only because you’re a small minded, uneducated peasant that you can’t appreciate a man like him”.

 

All the same Beauregarde loved Elsa so much that he didn’t want to try to come between her and happiness and so he told her that if she truly wanted to marry the prince then he was happy for her.

 

Secretly however, Beauregarde still did not trust the prince at all and was certain that he would make Elsa unhappy and so he went to see Old Orla, the wise woman of their village and said to her, “Elsa has a favourite doll that is a little princess that she has kept ever since she was a child and she loves it so much that she will surely take it with her when she goes away with the prince to live in his castle. Please, if I could just change into that doll then I could go along with Elsa to protect her in case anything bad should happen to her”.

 

And so Orla told the prince a magical word,

 

“Say the words Hossenpfeffer  three times”, she said and you shall become the doll; “And say it three times again and you shall return to your natural form”.

 

 

And so, thanking the wise woman for her kindness, Beauregarde went to see Elsa, pretending that it was simply to wish her good luck and, while he was in her house, he hid her princess doll and, whispering the word “Hossenpfeffer” three times he turned into its exact likeness and, when Elsa was packing things which she wanted to take with her to the castle, it was Beauregarde and not her doll that she packed in her travelling bag.

 

Then, the next day, the whole of her village came out to celebrate her departure, cheering and waving as she got into the prince’s golden coach and rode away and, although Elsa fell asleep once or twice along the way, it seemed as if, in no time at all they had arrived at the princes palace.

 

Then a footman opened the door of the golden coach and bowing, welcomed Elsa, calling her “Your highness” and then, her heart leaping with joy, she followed the prince into his enormous royal palace and was greeted by hundreds of servants who all bowed or curtseyed and called her “Your royal highness”.

 

But then, as if that was not wonderous enough, she was shown round all the hundreds of rooms in the palace that was to be her home; including a gigantic ball room where, the princess said, royal balls were held which all the aristocrats from all over the land attended and then, finally, Elsa was shown to her private quarters a gigantic room with a large four poster bed hung with richly decorated tapestries and with a huge fresco upon the ceiling and then ten ladies maids entered and ran a bath for her and then got her dressed into an expensive ball gown.

 

Oh, Elsa thought that she had arrived in heaven.

 

While, she was looking round her new home however, Beauregarde in the form of a little doll had also, crawling up out of her travelling bag, gone looking round about the house, scampering about its long corridoors with tiny doll feet and taking care not to let any of the servants see him and, as he was looking, he came to a room with a golden door and, he could hear a little girl crying from inside the room, and when he opened the door of the room he saw a little ghost of a girl who was crying “Oh please give me a doll, oh please”.

 

And, because he was in the form of a doll, he said to the ghost girl.

 

“Don’t cry little girl. You can play with me”.

 

Now the little girl picking Beauregarde up played with him like a doll and,after she had played with him, she was so grateful to him that she showed him the location of a secret room in which Prince Ostinado and his family kept a magical sword.

 

“The room has no key and no way to get in”, she said, “That is why the prince and his family keep me a prisoner because only a ghost can get into the room”.

 

But then the little ghost, walking through the wall of the room, opened it from the inside and presented Beauregarde with the magic sword.

 

“It is a sword with a ringing blade and when the blade rings, the prince and his family cannot bear it. That is why they have kept it locked away”.

 

But then Beauregarde kissed the ghost upon the forehead and, from where the kiss was planted a golden light spread out and the ghost began to change into a real little girl.

 

“Oh thank you she said”, hugging beauregarde, “I was cursed to be a ghost for eternity by the wicked Prince and his family but your love has lifted the curse and now I am a real little girl again”.

 

But now, darkness fell upon the castle, and a sumptuous banquet was prepared as Elsa and her  husband to be were sitting down in the banqueting hall eating a sumptuous feast with all of the princes friends and relations and  then suddenly the large clock upon the wall struck 12 and, when it did, to Elsa’s horror she started to notice a change come over all of the guests at the banquet.

 

As she looked, all over their faces, she saw thick black fur begin to sprout and up out of their heads she saw pointed horns rise.

 

“Monsters!”, she said, gasping with shock, “They are all turning into monsters”.

 

And even the prince sitting beside her had turned into a monster.

 

“It is the family curse”, he said to Elsa, grinning, “And once you are part of the family you and our child shall have it too”.

 

Elsa screamed.

 

But, just then however, Beauregarde, still disguised in doll form but carrying the ringing blade in doll hands crept down stairs and into the banqueting hall, and seeing the prince and his guests turn into monsters said the magic word that the wise woman had told him three times.

 

“Hossenpfeffer; hossenpfeffer; hossenpfeffer”, he said.

 

And, the moment that he did, in a bright, blinding flash of light he turned back into his human form and then, holding up the fabulous ringing blade in one hand and seizing Elsas hand with the other he said to Elsa, “Quick Elsa, come with me”.

 

Now, ofcourse the Prince and his family were angry that Beauregarde was trying to run off with Elsa and, howling and growling and snarling the monsterous family leapt upon them both intent on tearing them to pieces with long claws however when they did Beauregarde dropped the ringing blade upon the castle floor and, when he did, instead of clattering and clanking like a normal metal sword, it made a loud ringing sound that seemed to deafen the Prince and his family although it had no effect upon Beuregarde or Elsa.

 

Then, as the monstrous aristocrats cowered, covering their ears with large fur covered hands, Beauregarde picked up the sword and, still holding onto Elsa’s hand, fought his way through a crowd of snarling monsters then, taking Elsa and the little girl who had been a ghost he fled from the prince’s castle.

 

Now it took a long time to walk home from the castle and Beauregarde had to carry the little girl upon his shoulders while Elsa held the ringing blade and while they walked Elsa sobbed.

 

“I should have known better than to think that a real prince would want to marry a poor peasant girl”, she said, “I’ve been a terrible fool”.

 

But Beauregarde said that he did not think Elsa a fool at all and that, though he was not a prince and never would be, he loved Elsa deeply and always would.

 

And so, Elsa, realizing how fortunate a person is just to have someone who loves them agreed that she would marry Beauregarde.

 

And then, when they returned to their village, they were married in a humble village peasants wedding and Elsa wore a tattered wedding dress and veil and, melting the ringing blade down they used it to make their wedding ring because they could not afford one made of gold, but after that, and looking after the little girl as their beloved daughter, they all lived happily ever after.