Thoughts

dream.

there was a teacher, with two black eyes with two boys at her side.
they were in the paper, i dont know why. i was with my friend at the
place where they died. i cant remeber her name. we sat on he
scaffolding over the beck. then we fell. i got out first and draged her
out. everythin gwas a lot greener. the she said " you realise what this
is dont you?" and i said no the she said " we're dead and this is how
it feels". i turned and my dad and me at 4 years old were running about
playing tig and i was happy and.... he was tickling me and old friends
were laughing with us then he disappered. i was then at my boyfriend
huws house before his mum was dead. him and his father were happy and
running around excited waiting for her to come back from somewhere. as
they opened the door there she stood huws face gleaming with a smile
along with his father his mum looked at me and smiled god she was such
a nice person.then we ( me and huw) were in the cafitiera at an old
school of mine. i remeber him sat there eating and everyone else
knowing but him. knowing she had cancer and she was going. i wanted to
tell him i tryed to tell him. everyone else knew. everyone. and he just
sat there completely oblivious. it made me cry. i asked him and he just
sed oh she had it when i was 7 but shes ok now and grinned back at me.
noone should have to go through that. especially him. then a bang of
thunder woke me up. why wasnt i there when he needed me? why do all the
nicest people have trouble? i love him.

i now realise this dream was a reflection of all things that have
happened and didnt sink in at the time its now all come back. now i
seem to be maturer.but i still cant take it.

im seeing huw in an hour. and i just know im going to cry.