Bordello for Dummies - Part 1 of 2

It is raining tonight. The drive here was exciting, making plans and imagining what little details to expect. In the car park now, the rain is tapping on the all the surfaces of the car, on its hood and panels, the windscreen. The light of a window shines through the night, displayed in the rear view mirror. Too small, too far away to see detail, but it is the building in question.

There’s no rush. Take a few moments of time for yourself. Time to prepare. Time for one last cigarette. Check the headlights are off and the hand-break is on. Check pockets for important things, a wallet.

Take a breath and get out of the car, and into the rain. Turn the coat collars up. Notice a steady release of adrenaline. That’s fear, excitement. That’s adventure.

Welcome to Bordello for Dummies.

The neon sign in reds and blues high above says, “Classy Lady Gentlemen’s club”.

This is your guide on what to expect on your first visit to a legal, middle of the range brothel in the western suburbs of Sydney, Australia.

The address of the Classy Lady Gentlemen’s Club is listed on the main street of Penrith; however the entrance is located at the rear of the building. It is tucked away here so to be discreet. It is two stories and adjoined to other buildings, whose front faces on main street are shops, a pawnshop perhaps, a tobacconist. A modern car is parked out front in a single-space driveway. Next to which a path leads between two walls of the building creating a short alleyway leading the front door.

The door is heavy, Indian Red. There is a buzzer to press located on the door frame and security camera up above. Press the button now. When the button is pressed, look up at the camera and smile, but carefully, it is raining. The door will unlock with a click. When it does, go inside.
Notice the hot old air. Notice the low light.

There is a man at the counter opposite the door dressed in a denim vest and jeans. He has a red bandana around his head, slightly greying hair tied into a pony tail that falls down his back.

He says, ‘G-day. Still raining?’

So answer him, yeah, still raining, and smile.

He says, ‘If you just want to take a seat I’ll get the girls to come introduce themselves.’

Don’t panic, they won’t come all at once. While you have this moment, notice the interior design. Deep red prevails here, burgundy carpet. The walls are painted in two tones, divided horizontally at a high architrave. Again red, Cornell Red, and a yellowing pearl above. It is quite an old style of design with high ceilings, and intricate moulding around edges and in the centre supporting a glass chandelier.

When he indicates two small rooms opposite the stairs, like two walk in closets, go in and sit down. They’re furnished with two comfortable chairs and a small coffee table. It won’t take long for the first lady to appear.

The first is a middle aged woman, at least 45 years old. She has a rough smoker’s voice and a thick Australian accent. She is friendly, so be friendly back. Don’t’ panic just yet. Just be nice. Older men are sometimes uncomfortable with much younger women. She gets work, just not with you.

She says, ‘I’m June, how are you darling?’ she says ‘I offer an exciting and sensual experience.’

Say hello and how much of a pleasure it was to meet her.

The next girl is a tall and slim Asian, and most likely aged between 30 and 35. She also has rough features and uneven teeth. She doesn't speak English well.

She says, ‘Hi Baby, you choose me?' She says, 'we go upstairs?’

Say no, politely, but say it a few times. Say it firmly, because she refuses to understand. She will give cold star and stiff expression for a moment and say, ‘ok,’ she will get another girl.

Bandana Man appears at the door to ask, ‘you don’t like that girl?’ He says, ‘You not like? I get another, yeah?’

Take this time to reflect but, do not panic. Wipe away any gathering sweat, using a shirt sleeve perhaps. Your clothes are wet still. You will sweat because of the sudden change in temperature, the rain steaming dry. Your body is running hot. Adrenalin has pushed your body into an hyperactive state, so that is also the sweat of fear. It is the sweat of fight or flight.

Clear the fog from the lenses of those spectacles. Take a few breaths, deep and slow.
There is an exchange of words in Cantonese, or is it Mandarin? She smiles when she reaches the door and sees you there in the box chair. Return the smile.

‘Hello, I am Jojo,’ she says, “you pick me, for good time?’

Feel light with relief, and say, yes.

When she offers her hand; take it. Her hand is soft and delicate, and hot.

She says, ‘Oh, you cold?’ She says, ‘It raining, you wet.’

Jojo is slim with soft features. Exchange her heat, lock arms with her and feel her radiate. The warmth ebbs from soft skin. Pay very close attention to the contrast of texture between the lace fabric of her bra and the silken skin of her back. The bra stings hyperactive nerve receptors within your fingertips. Trace the curves down her erector spinae muscles in the lower back, nerve endings again stung by the harsh lace of her panties.

Jojo rests her head on your shoulder as you stand at the front counter. Remember Jojo is a living being, every bit as complex as yourself. Behind her eye is a consciousness as vast and as limited. A complex neural network comprised of the sum her nature and her experience. She is a person totally separate from you. We can only understand fragments at a time. Like our inability to form a complete imagining of nothingness.

Pay the bandana man at the counter. Try not to scowl at the 10% surcharge for paying with a debit card.