A - Slow motion, soft focus....

She wanted sex as it appeared in the movies. Slow motion, soft focus
sex. Where two bodies perfectly entwined, combined to make love beyond
the wildest of imaginations. She wanted no noise, no smell sex. Sex
where cramp did not exist. No sex performed in a creaking bed. No sex
with no ill-timed burps or farts. She wanted sex where two bodies
grinded against each other to the echo of synchronised moans and the
sounds of a decent string section.
Sex where wave after wave of prolonged tension and beautiful relaxation
alternated with the gripping of sheets and sweat soaked skin. Sex in
which two hands clasped each other in a symbolic gesture of complete
unity and everlasting love. Sex which was not just a unification of
body but a unification of heart, mind and soul.
She wanted sex with no squelching, no stinking armpits or any other
orifice in the vicinity. She didn't want sex which was just an
alcoholic blur, sex conducted unwillingly with a particularly bad
hangover where the desire to vomit was more attractive than anything
else on offer......

Naked, Deborah rose slowly out of bed and walked over to the dressing
table.
"Want one"? she asked, turning round and showing Daniel the blue and
white cigarette packe. Daniel out of breath, wheezed back a no with an
exaggerated shake of the head.
Deborah withdrew a long cigarette from the packet and lit it, taking
slow casual puffs from the filter she stuck between her lips. She
dropped the packet back on to the dressing table and picking up an
ashtray walked back to the bed.
Daniel meanwhile continued to search in vain for some air, taking
short, sharp intakes of breath, his whole body shouting 'Resuscitation
Resuscitation!' Deborah, in marked contrast to Daniel, showed no sign
of having just made mad passionate love. Instead she lay naked on the
bed, lost in thought, lazily blowing recycled smoke towards the
ceiling.
Meanwhile now that he had got most of his breath back, all Daniel
wanted to do was go to sleep. Nevertheless, he resisted the urge, not
wanting to appear ungrateful or impolite. He would wait at least five
minutes.
It was noticeable tonight however, that Deborah seemed even more
subdued than normal. Of course, Daniel could have just asked what was
bothering her but recently he had always ended up saying the wrong
thing.
Instead he turned towards her and asked what was really on his
mind.
"So...was that all right then"?
Deborah didn't answer. She just stared at the clouds of smoke which
rose into the air with an air of resignation.
For she knew he would ask. 'If she enjoyed it'. And then he would ask
if she really enjoyed it. Then he would ask if she really, really,
really enjoyed it.
Tonight however was different. She didn't want or feel the need to
answer his stupid question. Instead she changed the subject.
"I'm going to the supermarket tomorrow so if you need anything special
you may as well tell me now"
Eh? Supermarket? Anything special? Daniel was thrown by this. It was
the first time he could remember Deborah not answering his question.
And what was this about the supermarket? What did she mean?
"Anything special"? Daniel said, looking at her. He didn't know what to
say. Confused, he decided to answer as best he could.
"I dunno"
This was not the right answer. For it was the answer Deborah had been
waiting for. It he had been in any doubts about her mood beforehand,
answering "I dunno" was a perfect way to dispel those doubts.
"You don't know, you don't know! Well you better know pretty damn quick
because I'm not making two trips to the supermarket just for your
benefit"!
She was definitely not in a good mood thought Daniel. But he may as
well humour her. "Well" he answered sincerely. "What do you mean by
special"? He should have gone back to sleep when he had the
chance.
"I could get you that special pasta sauce you like; you know the one
with garlic and mushrooms. Make your favourite spaghetti. Keep your
energy up."!
Sarcasm? Did he perceive a hint of sarcasm in her voice or was it his
imagination. Then once again silence.
Against his better instincts he decided to break this silence with
another question.
"What brought this on"?
"What brought what on"?
"This"
"What this"?
"This what, what...this..."continued Daniel trying and failing
miserably to explain what this actually was. Then he made an even
bigger faux-pas..
"You seem a wee bit uptight"
Perhaps it was because he was knackered. Perhaps he was just caught off
guard but nine times out of ten he would have had the better sense not
to use the word 'uptight' For although his experience with women was
somewhat limited even he knew if there was one word in the English
language women despised it was 'Uptight'. Sure enough as soon as it
came out his mouth he knew he had made a big mistake.
Deborah sat bolt upright in bed visibly shaking with rage.
"Excuse me"?!
There was nothing left to do but try and make a dignified run back to
his bunker.
"I mean......"He stammered. "I mean not uptight; perhaps that's not the
word I was looking for.."
He was losing it; his life was in danger. Any second now she would pick
up the ashtray and smash it over his head.
His mind was a blur. It was all so quick. Five minutes ago everything
seemed hunky dory. He couldn't think straight. So instead of skilfully
extricating himself from a delicate situation, he piled mistake on top
of mistake. He smiled.
Deborah's mouth fell open. She couldn't believe what she was seeing.
That's it he thought. Call the polis'. However just as he was waiting
for a Glasgow kiss she calmly turned, got out of bed and walked out the
room.
Daniel assumed she was away into the kitchen to get a sharp knife. He
decided to stay in bed, take it like a man, sort of casual like, in the
chest.
What was he saying! What the hell was wrong with her? It couldn't be
PMT. She had PMT last week. And woman only got PMT one week a month.
That was the agreement. They got PMT but only one week a month.
He heard a suitcase being dragged out the hall cupboard. She then
re-entered the bedroom continuing to drag the heavy red suitcase before
throwing it onto the bed forcing Daniel to jump out the way.
Daniel looked on in silence as she opened the suitcase and started to
chuck clothes into it with a haste, which suggested she was trying to
abandon a fast sinking ship. Daniel decided to call her bluff.
Continuing to act as casual as possible he nevertheless felt compelled
to ask the obvious if silly question.
"What are you doing"?
Ask a silly question.
"What do you think I'm doing I'm leaving"
"Leaving? But you can't leave. It's two o'clock in the morning. Where
are you going to go? I mean if you're going to leave you may as well do
it tomorrow".
She turned, wondering if he was serious. She recommenced opening
drawers and pulling out knickers and tights, blouses and shirts,
throwing anything she could find into the suitcase.
To his credit Daniel continued to appear calm, waiting for her to get
whatever it was out of her system and come back to bed. He was sure she
was bluffing.
But then again what if she wasn't bluffing? What would he do if she
really did intend to leave and was not just looking for attention? It
could be more serious than he first thought. Really, he couldn't take
the chance. He got up off the bed, feeling as always self - conscious
with no clothes on. So he pulled on his underpants which were lying on
the floor. She acknowledged this with a shake of the head and a
sigh.
He advanced towards her. "Deborah...listen..."
"Don't come near me"!
He immediately stepped back again. "Listen, I'm sorry, don't
go...whatever it is I've done, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do...
whatever it is I did".
She continued to throw stuff into the case. Shoes, lipstick, perfume
tights.
"Please Deborah, please, I'm begging you, don't leave just like that.
Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. I love you Deborah.... I love
you!
Finally she stopped throwing stuff into the case more out of exhaustion
than anything else but she could sense the genuine anguish in Daniels
voice, the genuine fear. She looked at him, standing there
self-conscious in his underpants.
What could she say to him? How could she explain? Then she could only
but try. "Listen Daniel, I'm sorry, it's just that.. How could make
Daniel understand something she didn't even understand herself?
"I'm going Daniel, it's not you...it's me.... It's just that I'm
so...fed up"! That was it. She was simply fed up.
"Fed up, fed up with what"? asked Daniel.
"Everything" she explained "Everything, work, this flat, this town,
you"
"Me"? You're fed up with me"? Daniel looked at her with genuine hurt
and surprise.
Now it was Deborah's turn to regret her words. She knew how insecure he
was and as she continued to look at the rather pathetic figure which in
its green underpants stood before her, she noticed tears starting to
well up in his eyes.
She had no choice but to walk over and hold him tight in her arms. She
kissed him on the cheek, whispering "I'm sorry, Daniel, I'm sorry" She
held him tighter still feeling him, like a child, gently sob in her
arms, feeling his warm tears fall onto her neck and roll down her back.
She knew how much Daniel loved her, he repeated it every day and the
thought of hurting Daniel, the guilt of hurting Daniel made her start
to cry as well. If only he knew....

Lying next to Daniel after making love, Deborah was indeed fed up.
Frankly, she had to admit it was boring. The sex was boring. In fact
everything was boring. Daniel was boring. Life was boring. It was
boring going on tedious lying there after making love waiting to Daniel
to ask "Did you enjoy it, really really?" and knowing that as always
she would smile as best she could and say yes it was unbelievable sex,
incredible when in fact it wasn't. Not so much it wasn't good, it
wasn't anything, it just wasn't anything. How could she explain? Sex
with Daniel nowadays was...predictable.
The strange thing was at first she quite enjoyed sex with Daniel, in
those first few weeks and oh, she knew he certainly wasn't the greatest
lover in the world. The cigarette afterwards usually lasting longer
than the sex beforehand and if she was really truthful she could
probably have had more fun by herself but well, whatever. How could she
really explain?
The fact of the matter was she liked sex, yes, she wanted sex, she
needed sex but...not necessarily with Daniel. The fact of the matter
was, and she had to admit it to herself, that she wanted sex with
somebody completely different from Daniel. Maybe even just once. Just
to see what it would be like. She wanted to have sex with the
anti-Daniel.
As for Daniel himself, he didn't know what to think. One minute she's
screaming her head off, the next she's cuddling him lovingly in her
arms. Women! However even taking into account the mental instability of
the female species in general he knew there was something troubling
Deborah and if not sorted out soon, it could become a serious threat to
their relationship.
These past few days, few weeks, no matter what he did, it seemed to be
wrong. However it comforted him to know that if there was one thing in
life he was sure of, it was that he and Deborah would always be
together. Forever. And later as he started to fall asleep it was this
certainty which always calmed him down. The knowledge that Daniel
Thompson and Deborah McKendrick were destined to be together for
eternity.
Deborah meanwhile, watching Daniel doze off to sleep in her arms was
dreaming of someone else. Someone different from Daniel where passion
was involved, where sex was like it appeared in the movies. Slow
motion, soft focus sex where two bodies so perfectly entwined, combined
to make love beyond the wildest of...........