Tenet

I slip quietly out the bedroom door
leaving only my heart behind
to greet what is wrong
i hold my substitute close
and close my eyes
as the pleasure enfolds me
my breath comes fast
i cry
devoted, miserable tears
streak down my face
as i reach for the end
in these icy arms
i go back
and look at you, sleeping
tempted
and then i know
that love
is my truth
and it only hurts
so much more

December 1999