Forgiveness

it's not as simple as you think, to
not

go deep into oneness, to
belong

within that luscious, superlative hub
where

you are so it, like a girl

or
that thing

in the limelight, certified by sexual
fantasy,

imitative bliss, the fame flame
dances

and even which cereal you
eat

becomes famous

by the silver
mouthful, you

show off your
blatant blow-up,

look around to see if others
recognize you,

everyone knows you in one way or
another, it's

a great fuck

without
the disease, so pure

cocaine puritanism,
inviolable

as emasculated as a statue with
thousands

of adoring
fans:

it was hard to let go, let
go

of what i thought people wanted me to
be,

to be burning on that Olympic
pyre,

let it go and search for character, for my
voice

once, twice and even
more

maliciously, slyly flirtateous
times

in the
wind:

only that i remembered how
you were the only one

who knew the man inside the boy
of me,

how i longed for success, adored the pavillion
of

those like Dylan

who sang so
beautifully and kindly

who evoked such nasty nasty
hatred

for sorry hoes to billow
into

ecstacy:

and
yet, it is only the first baby steps

i find, i step
into

out onto the ground of
reality,

no longer in the house

of
imagination.