Chit Chatting On -

TV Presenter: Welcome to the very first episode of CHIT CHATTING ON

Studio Audience whoops and cheers.

TV Presenter: (addressing two excitable girls in the audience) If you get on the stage tonight, it must be difficult to get you off....How much coffee and Fizzy did you have?

Girl1: (piercing laughter) lots. More than half a litre.I could talk for ages without stopping..

Presenter: I can tell

Girl2: If you drink just a little of coffee and fizzy, you are missing out

Presenter: I drink only milk..I love my sleep

LAUGHTER

TV Presenter: There may be many copy cats in the near future, but CHIT CHATTING ON will go down in history as the first show to facilitate CHIT CHAT among studio audience, the presenter and viewers..... This should be interesting..

APPLAUSE

Presenter:...I will start by suggestiing some topics of discussion for the first round. There are 10 of them. Are you ready to write them down?

Audience: YES!!!!!

Presenter: Great!grab paper and pen. Ladies, if you can't find a pen, just grab your eye-liner...

Audience claps and cheers.

TV Presenter: For your information, I'll suggest the topics in a particular order.... However, I'm not at liberty to say what order....

AUDIENCE CHUCKLES

Presenter: For your viewing pleasure, the sugggested topics are: (prolonged drumroll) Aep Ohio, cctv 4, centerpoint energy, groundhog day, national signing day, punxsutawney phil 2011, pro mubarak, tim jernigan....

AUDIENCE APPLAUSE

Presenter: As you know, chit chatting is easy as abc...One of our viewers will call in and start a conversation on any of those topics....

APPLAUSE

Presenter: Bear in mind, that the viewer is under no obligation to accept our suggested topics - he/she can start a conversation on a topic of his/her choice...The challenge is for me, and a selected audience member to carry on the chit chat...

APPLAUSE

Presenter: G123, you have been Hi lighted,(DANCING LIGHT RESTS ON G123) so get ready...Caller, you are ON

Caller: Hi. On your flight to Australia, a couples’ kids are screaming and kicking the back of your seat, what is the right thing to do?

Presenter: G123, she wish to chit chat on Adults' Only Flights, so go ahead....

LAUGHTER

G123: I need my sleep... on all flights. Short or long. So I would ask them to spank the kids, or warn them that if they fail to do so, I have no qualms about doing it myself. I guarantee an incident free flight after that.

Caller: If the kids are old enough to kick and scream for more than 5 minutes, then someone should discipline the parents...

Presenter: Hopefully the flight attendant would offer air plugs to the other passengers before things get ugly

Caller: Adults with too many kids are kids that are too young should not be allowed on the flight... And no kids should be on a flight if its 9pm or later. They should be in bed...

G123: ..Those kids should be in school

LAUGHTER

Presenter: Only a courageous couple would travel alone with more than one kid...

Caller:...I would be terrified travelling with just one

LAUGHTER

G123: The bottom line is bad-parenting. I can control any number of kids on a flight... and I am not even a parent

Caller: I wonder what the parents were up to while their kids go wild

G123: Failure stop your kids driving other passengers mad, especially on a long flight, is sheer impertinence

Presenter: Couldn’t it be worse? I have had vomit on the seat next to me...on a 18 hour flight

Audience, G123, Caller: Yuck

G123: I have had worse, someone coughing every 5 seconds

Caller: I had no choice but to share my seat with the passenger next to me. His seat was not big enough for his bottom

LAUGHTER

Audience member: Wanna hear how what seemed to be my best flight, turned into a nightmare

Presenter: Who are you...? Never mind...You have not been Hi lighted, but go ahead..next time do not speak unless the dancing light rests on you. This goes for everyone in the audience. Please!

Audience member: Sorry, thanks. When I took my seat...on the flight, I noticed that the entire row was empty. Best flight ever, I thought...

Applause

Audience member:....you applauded too soon...Shortly afterwards, a couple with 4 kids sat behind me. The kids yelled at one another and kicked the back of my seat for the duration of the 15 hour flight....

Audience: Ahhhhhhhhh!

Audience member: I got ear plugs from the flight attendants but they were useless.

PRESENTER: I don’t understand, why did’nt you do something about it

Audience: I would have sworn at the parents, but they did not speak English..The cocktails kept me quiet though

LAUGHTER

G123: It may be cruel to have them thrown off the plane, but how about locking them in the toilets?

Audience: BOOO!

Audience member: One of the flight attendant’s voice sounded like Marge Simpson's