I Remember
 
  By MistakenMagic
Tue, 23 Jun 2009    
    - 6031 reads
18 comments
    (i)
I remember a time
when you took the bullets
for me. Human shield.
I was safe from everything.
But then you grew weary
of the wounds – started to think
the words were really all for you.
And so you left.
A parting gift was a loaded gun
with my name on it.
(ii)
I remember a time
when the names didn’t hurt me.
That hazy untouchable feeling
of a strolling concrete block.
Little did I know
a magpie stole the labels –
attracted by their razor sharp shine.
And now I feel the sickly prickle
against my ribs,
where she built her nest.
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Comments
i love the first line of
    Permalink    Submitted by Curse of 222 on   
  i love the first line of each part. this is dark, well-written, and intriguing.
good work, magic.
jason
jason
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As always, this has the
    Permalink    Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on   
  As always, this has the 'magic' stamp all over it;-)
...and don't talk to me about magpies!  My garden is overrun with them and one day I saw one take a collared-dove in mid-flight.  But then I guess, nature will be nature.
As jason says, good work...as ever.
Tina xxx
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Hi Magic. The hazy
Hi Magic. The 
hazy untouchable feeling
of a strolling concrete block 
stands out intriguingly for me. I agree with earlier comments
"this is dark, well-written, and intriguing" ;-)
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Nothing to add except great
    Permalink    Submitted by sarah wilson on   
  Nothing to add except great poem:)
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professionally scripted; the
    Permalink    Submitted by threeleafshamrock on   
  professionally scripted; the rest has all been said and I agree.
Chris XX
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New mistakenmagic Yes it
    Permalink    Submitted by Cavalcader on   
  New mistakenmagic Yes it definitely hits you especially lines like the wounds- started to think
the words are really all for you. Magpies steal everything. good is it true happening.? julie x
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like this a lot - that
    Permalink    Submitted by littleditty on   
  like this a lot - that concrete wall and the itchy labels, imagetic! Super poem magic xx
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I really enjoyed this piece
I really enjoyed this piece it's so dark and powerful.
I especially liked these lines;
"I remember a time
when you took the bullets
for me. Human shield."
Best Wishes
Beeme x
k.
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