Free Falling

Unable to make a decision
you moved in incrementally, a gentle migration
of clothes, Cd's and cheap electronics
and my room became a bad art installation

I smuggled you in late, giggling at the smell of weed
from upstairs, and marveled at how similar, placed palm to palm,
our hands were, - mine smaller, but the same somehow -
in the blue glow from the indian opposite,
We traded fucked-upness and decided
that both being the youngest of four makes us equal
and we'd always take turns to make tea and toast at midnight

We slept as if co-joined in the single bed, sheets tucked up tight
against the cold, not daring to leave the gas fire lit

Unable to make a decision
we live in perpetual sin, we found a house,
learned to garden, bought a puppy
we share everything we have, food, bodyheat, luck,
but lately, secretly, when a smile makes shadows around your eyes
and you reach for me, pressing your hand against mine,
that's when I think, one of us will default
and one of us will be left behind