A Word to the Wiseguy - Part 4 - A Craven Danger Mystery

“Nice tie,” said Boris.

The four vacationers sat around a pool-side table at Tropical Splendor’s Sandy Shore dining room.

“Thanks,” said Craven. “I got it special for the occasion.”

“Oh, it’s special all right,” said Betty. “But not as special as these earrings. I’ll betcha some girls wait their whole lives for glow in the dark palm tree earrings and never get anything like ’em. How’d I get so lucky?”

“I knew you’d love 'em,” said Craven. “The man at the store said you’d be speechless. But I told him, knowin’ you, that wasn’t gonna happen.”

“I’d be laughin’ about now, Mr. Danger,” said Betty. “But I’m still in shock that you went out an’ got ‘em in the first place.”

“You’re welcome, Betty,” said Craven. “It’s just my way of sayin’ thanks for standing behind me and bein’ such a good little coffee server. I sure do love my coffee in the morning. It’s meant a lot. I don’t know what I’d do without ya. My only complaint is that I wish I could getcha ta take up typin’. I can never figure out those hen scratches a yours. Besides that, you’ve been a good Watson to me, Betty. Holmes woulda be lucky ta have ya. But I’ll betcha Holmes never showed his appreciation like I done. I’ll also bet that Watson never picked up Sherlock’s dry cleanin’ neither. And, ta put the icin’ on the cake, I’m sure glad ya talked me in ta this vacation, Betty. I sure did need one. These case loads have been killin’ me.”

“I’ve been a good what ta who’s its?” said Betty.

“Uh, oh,” said Judy. “I’ve only heard that tone in her voice once before. It’s when puberty struck and Nancy Fontaine had just stolen away the only boy who ever kissed Betty and got away with it.”

“Should we be ducking under the table?” said Boris.

“And miss Joe Louis knockin’ out a hapless opponent in the first round?” said Judy. “Not on your life.”

Judy and Boris sat back, ordered cocktails, and tried their best to pick up on what Betty was shouting, but they could only pick up a word or two, and an occasional hand gesture, at a time.

“Behind ya!”

“Typin’!”

“Coffee server!”

“Watson!”

“Case loads!”

"Killin' you!"

“Hen scratches!”

“Dry cleanin’!”

After a few more chosen words and hand gestures, Betty got her hands around a certain hula girl and let her have it.

When Betty stormed out of the restaurant, Judy and Boris ordered more cocktails and watched as the porter came in with his pool skimmer. First fishing out a pair of glow in the dark earrings and, second, a glow in the dark hula girl necktie. The former wearer of which was being dragged from the pool by one waiter and two bus boys.

A disoriented Craven Danger was plopped back into his seat and handed a towel.

“Is it me,” said Craven. “Or was it just rainin’ in here?”

“Oh, I’d say it was rainin’ pretty hard,” said Judy. “I’d be keeping a careful eye on the weather around here if I were you, Danger. You’re likely to have that cloud over your head for quite some time.”

“Hey!” said Craven. “Where’s Betty?”

“She’s resting up for round two,” said Boris. “And If I may offer a piece of advice, I’d watch out for that left hook, Danger. She throws a beauty.”