Why?

“I can’t believe it!” I cried out. My knees suddenly felt as weak as cardboard and I fell. I closed my eyes and braced myself. It seemed to take a lot longer to reach the ground though. Still I kept my eyes closed waiting for the pain. How could I have been so stupid as to trust anyone like this? Now it might have lost me everything. Whatever happened though I knew Emily had to be kept safe. Curious. I opened my eyes and saw the strangest thing. I was still falling. My hand was a few centimeters from the ground but was falling as if in slow motion. Then I realized something else. Juan was already home. Strange, he was not supposed to be here before noon. He was moving fast though. Too fast. And then there was Emily, and then she was gone. And he tries to touch me, and gets a burn. Then he leaves and comes back with a bandage. Suddenly it’s already evening. But why is there a doctor here? “I am feeling fine, just resting on the floor.” I tried to tell them but my lips did not seem to move. I tried to stand up and seemed to be doing it but as slow as I had fallen before. I tried putting more energy into it but barely got a few centimeters off the ground. The doctor had already left and Juan was still at my side with a bandaged arm. He kept going out and back with incredible speed. Then Emily was there, crying in his arms. “I probably just need some rest.” I thought and slowly fell asleep.

*

He stood and wondered. What was he to do? She certainly was not dead, the doctor confirmed it and he could see her eyes moving. Perhaps he should call a priest for this one, or perhaps Joshua. The mind of a scientist might understand what was happening. Juan put Emily to bed. The crying had made her tired and his inability to explain the phenomenon did not help the situation. It seemed like he would not be sleeping tonight. How could he? Even though he knew he could never understand what was happening, he felt it was his duty to stand by her side. And then tomorrow he could start working on finding the right people to solve this mystery.

*

I woke up feeling rather energetic. I had such a strange dream. And then I tried to open my eyes but could not. Actually. I was opening them, but slowly. Light started pouring in but I still could not make out the room, although there were some bright lights now and then. Very strange. It took me about one hour to completely open the eyelids, but once I was able to distinguish what was in the room I totally forgot about it. There were people all around me, most of them wearing lab coats. Some looked at me with worried expression, others were arguing and pointing. Every now and again a person wearing a strange plastic suit would try to touch me and got pushed back. Luckily the suit would only get a dark stain. But as before, they all were moving with incredible speed. It was as watching life in fast forward. It almost seemed funny, but then the realization hit me once again. I was still stuck in this, whatever it was. What I did notice however was that my eyes were moving quick, unlike the rest of my body. Some of the scientists seemed to have seen the same as there were many heads close to my face examining it, but they disappeared quickly and returned to their work. I looked longingly at the plate of food lying beside me. “Ok, I can do this.” I thought, and sent the message to my muscles to start moving. Perhaps I will be fed by this time tomorrow.

*

He was smiling again. They had found a solution and considering the situation they felt it was good progress. He took another apple and dropped it on her plate. “It seems that the electromagnetic field of high density is only affected by living biological beings with strong heat signatures. Anything else could be dropped without side effects.” In his understanding this meant that they had to drop the food from one meter above her so they don’t get burned. At least she would not starve then. But what about
everything else?

*

I was starting to lose track of what was happening. I would have never thought of blinking as a huge time waster but in this case it made me cringe how things changed once I reopened my eyelids. And when I think about sleep it almost brings a tear to my eye. I must stay awake, soon it will be Emily’s first day, or so I thought. Ah, dear Juan, after arguing for what seemed like three seconds with a coated man he finally made them put a clock and a calendar by my side. Now however there is something else that my body needs. I hope Juan is as perceptive as ever.

*

He swore and shouted as never before. Luckily Emily was not home. He told them that she was not an object in a lab and they would have to treat her like a human being or face his wrath. In the end they had to accept that there was nothing to do and so they packed everything and left. He took a bedpan and slid it close to her. “Ok” he thought, “What else could she need”. It took him a while but he managed to arrange around her everything she might need. A change of clothes, some cleaning products, everything that she could need. And so the wait began. Every morning he read on the front page the number of days that had passed. Every morning he checked on her. “Not yet” he thought blushing. He did not like to see her in such a vulnerable state but it somehow made him feel closer to her.

*

I had always been an impatient woman. Perhaps that was why Juan was perfect for me. He was my exact opposite. Normally taking days to do such a simple act as going to the toilet would have made me angry and I would have never got to the end with my sanity intact. But then I started seeing him there, by the door. Every morning. Just a quick check before going to work and one in the afternoon after putting Emily to bed. He must have known that it would take me much longer but still he did it, and in the few milliseconds that I had to see his face, I could read everything in his expression. And so I carried on, for their sake.

*

He was listening to the scientists argue again. Why now? He looked at the clock worryingly. It took him at least one hour to drive to the university and he wanted to make sure he was able to shoot the whole ceremony. Eva would love to see it for sure. He opened the door to her room. It would be maybe two more months before she woke up. She seemed so peaceful there, in her own time frame. He took another long look then left. The two old lab coats didn’t even notice him. Was it a loop or a shift? “Who cares?” thought Juan, the question was how she could be brought out of it... in time?

*

I woke up as if from a nightmare. Again. Always with such guilt for wasting time but my body needed it, there was nothing I could do. My eyes looked around. Perhaps I should try to watch her wedding video again. I still did not manage to get used to how it was slowed down for me. But it was better than nothing, and my God, did she look beautiful. They both seemed happy. I did not really like his mother though.

*

He was starting to feel weak. It was probably time. He felt good that they allowed him to stay in the room. He wondered if she would realize what was happening, but then he looked at her face and saw the sadness in her eyes. Juan regretted his decision of wanting to be with her in the same room, but it was too late now.

*

Things changed after Juan’s passing. Emily did not really have much time to visit. It was hard, I knew quite well, starting a new family, so I kept to myself, watching the scientists. It was not really like I had much else to do. I started to think about what I could do to keep myself occupied. Perhaps a mental journal? I wondered how much of it I would remember anyway, but it seemed like a good exercise for the brain. Well, here
goes...

/\

Mental Journal day 10 (my time): I can now happily watch some footage of Jonathan. I wonder if he will care about his grandmother when he’s all grown up.

/\

Mental Journal day 15 (my time): I don’t think anyone has come to visit for a while, or did I sleep longer than usual?

/\

Mental Journal day – not sure: Cannot stand the scientists anymore, why are they here anyway?

/\

Mental Journal: Lonely

/\

Mental Journal: It seems I have already survived my daughter and grandson. How much longer?

/\

MJ: Might be some perks to becoming a museum piece. Still, I hope they will let me use the toilet without having people take photos, or is that what it’s all about?

/\

J: I can now use some kind of strange contraption to write with my eye movements. Not sure I’m ok with everyone reading this.

/\

J: ... I quit ....

Eva Rodriguez (1980 – 8143)