King Kong For a Day - A Craven Danger Mystery

The great detective lifted the fiery red-head off her feet and carried her every step of the way to the top of the Empire State Building.

“One step for every ‘I love you’ in my heart,” he said.

The fiery red-head swooned, then fainted, as the romantic detective’s moist, hot breath caressed her sweet and tender lips.

“Will you be mine?” he said, stepping out into the open air of the 86th floor observatory.

“I will,” said the fiery red-head. “Now, and until my dying breath.”

The great and romantic detective then signaled the crew in the zeppelin - hovering above - to lower the rope ladder. The two-love birds were then hoisted into the dirigible and married on board by the pilot - one Charles A. Lindbergh - who whisked them away to Tahiti for a honeymoon that would last a lifetime and beyond.

“Someone get me a doctor,” said Betty. “‘Cause this stories makin’ me queasy. Who wrote this dribble?”

“You mean drivel,” said Craven Danger.

“You said it,” said Betty. “Is this what you been doin’ in here all mornin’?”

“Can’t a guy go to the toilet without a certain someone nosing around a certain thing that’s none of that certain someone’s business?”

“Ya wanna run that through the ringer one more time, Mr. Shakespeare.”

“I would if I could, Betty, but I can’t. Now, why are you snoopin’ around my desk?”

“I wasn’t snoopin’, Mr. Danger. I was lookin’ for the fly swatter. I gotta squadron of kamikaze house flies out there that I been doin' battle with all mornin'. An' I run out a newspapers."

“Well, look someplace else, Betty. I’m busy."

“I can see that, Mr. Danger. Carrying me up 86 flights a stairs. I can’t even get you to carry the laundry basket up the one flight a stairs we do got. This is how ya tellin’ the world ya proposed ta me?”

“I’m tryin’ to add a little color is all, Betty.”

“Ain’t ya gonna put nothin’ in that memoir about the real proposal at Lee Chin’s Chop Suey House, Mr. Danger? You sayin’ ta me, ‘Say, Betty. If you ever decide you got nothin’ better ta do than to marry some lug, and ya got nobody special in mind, I’ll be happy ta be that nobody.’ And me sittin’ there with a face full a Moo Goo Gai Pan. I didn’t know whether to swallow or spit.”

“Ah, Betty. You ain’t bein’ fair. I was nervous is all. I was plannin’ on doin’ it all proper. Really. It’s like this. You know how you’re always tellin’ me I got no rhythm when we go dancin'?

“Yeah?”

“Well, sometimes it’s that way when I talk. Sometimes it’s like I got two left feet on my tongue. And if I had to do it all over again, Betty, I would. Two left tongues and all.”

“What’s stoppin’ ya, Mr. Danger? Last I heard the Empire State Building was still standing. And Tahiti’s still where it’s always been.”

“Ah, Betty. I ain’t got the kind of dough it takes to get us to Tahiti. But I’ll think of something. I promise.”

“Well, then, hurry up with ya thinkin’, Mr. Danger. And let me know what ya come up with. In the meantime I gotta zero in on some kamikaze houseflies in the other room.”

“All right, Betty. I’m on it.

Craven Danger took a seat at the desk and picked up his pen.

The great detective lifted the fiery red-head off her feet and onto the boat. ‘To the seven seas and back again,’ he said to the operator.

Once inside the Tunnel of Love, the great and romantic detective stole many kisses and one special heart. He was not reprimanded for his crimes, and would spend the rest of eternity committing many more, with no argument from the fiery red-head.