The Better One

The Better One

Damn it, I could have loved her to the end of the world.
I still remember the first time she came there with me, that beautiful dress of hers, dancing to the meadows winds, all this dark red wine and not a single loss of balance…

To think just a few minutes ago we talked, and she laughed, and laughed, and I just looked at her… damn it, I could have loved her to the end of this world... And she always had that look in her eyes… like there was something else, something more than I could see; even when she cried… even when… well, in that day. You see, my son, she wasn't always a cold hearted banshee, she was… well, she was everything to me…

I woke up. I barely raised my heavy and tired lashes, when last night flashed trough my head… it all came back to me, and I started crying, Dry tears of an empty man.

I looked at her, she looked inside, and there was silence. Heavy, painful, soaked in fear silence. She then got up from her chair and silently went inside and out of the door while I was calling her name, asking her to stop. She then turned around and looked at me with those piercing eyes, like she was daggering my very soul, well, I could have seen that she felt it herself; the daggers, on her own soul. It was then I realized what I have done… it was just too painful… My breathing got heavier, I felt like I was diving into lava, I was barely able to talk, which was even harder because there was nothing I could have said to change anything.

 It was all over the minute I opened that damned box.

But you don't care about her; you don't want to hear about her. You need to know of the other one, the better one, the one that everybody loves... well, I can tell you she knew how to make a man feel like a piece of shit, and how to make you give up everything you are for a glimpse of fake, plastic emotion. I can tell you that.But, my son, don't think bad of her, we can not blame her, because that fake, plastic emotion was really all she had, she was just looking for someone to make her feel something, something real, besides pain.

And, I hate to say it, but it's easier for both of us after the other one died… you see, life is just that way, one moment you hope for the future, planning everything like a visionary architect, but then when you're so close to finish you realise you forgot the basics of your plans, the foundations of that dreaded building you dreamt of. One moment you look in hope to what is to come, and a moment later you grasp all the bits of life and remains of what you had and hold them close to you, Because that's really all I had left… she was everything to me… the other one.

The better one, she was just a decorative mask… If only, if only I had the strength to keep away, to hold it in… if only I wouldn't opened that damned Pandora's box, maybe then… I don't know. I still remember the first time she ran away there with me, her beautiful hair flowing and shimmering like a river of golden crystals… only a drop of blood red wine, dripping from her mouth and falling to the grass on the ground. One cow was standing there, my love danced as she walked to the beast's direction, singing… she pushed her down the hill and started screaming with terror when that poor cow trembled down until she smashed into an old oak tree. The Better One cried. I came to her and hugged your mom the hardest I could and I told her it's all going to be alright. She knew then how much I cared of her. But no one cared about the dead cow.