Thinking Time

By Rhiannonw

Mon, 11 Jul 2016
  • 1370 reads
6 comments
 

His deviousness discovered –
transactions ‘all in white’
that should have been invisible,
they’d coloured into sight.

He’d tried to pass the blame
upon the steady lad,
but soon the ball had bounced right back:
and really he was glad:

He’d like to make amends
but first he’d have to serve
the sentence, punishment for what
his crooked deals deserve.

*******
Just out, he’d start afresh –
not out of fear of clink –
he’d seen how foul deceit became,
and didn’t like the stink.

[IP: use the phrases:  ball back   first serve   just out   all in white]

 

 

Certificate U
Poem
Miscellaneous
Philosophy
Crime
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Now that I have read your poem, Rhiannon, the penny has dropped and understand what you meant by splitting the given phrases.
I see that while I limited myself to the description of the crime you looked ahead to the time when rehabilitation - which is what a civilised society should aim for - would occur. Unfortunately there are certain hardened criminals who seem unable to be reformed and rather than be re-integrated become recidivists.

Luigi x

 

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Luigi. I should have read this first, as I've just been explaining what I meant, on yours! I didn't know the word recidivists before! Rhiannon

 

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Rhiannon

You always try to see the best in everyone. If only all criminals could repent.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Well, it's nice to see that people can want to try again, and can respond to God's grace and repent, and maybe sometimes 'doing time' as they say can provide 'thinking time' that's productive rather than uselessly bitter, but with a right view of the damage even to themselves of crime – but need the strength to avoid the company that is a bad influence. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on

Really clever use of IP Rhiannon. I really enjoyed this, and its message.

Linda

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Thanks, Linda, and thanks for telling me! Rhiannon