Report to the Empiricists Part 2/5

 

REPORT TO THE EMPIRICISTS, CONTINUED

There had never been a case in our collective travels where the first station encountered was not the first to contact, according to protocol. We also felt that our mission wasn’t very important to the dominants, so, when we thought ourselves prepared to contact the humans, we addressed those who were in the little box hurtling around the globe. Our ship Contact, whose responsibility includes well being, informed me that the inhabitants in that little box had just stopped breathing, but were healthy otherwise. Then you, the Empiricists, strongly suggested that we move out of sight of that little box. We relocated, and your group suggested a conference. A crude signal then came from the line on the surface which had opened due to the signal from that little box. A dominant asked us what we wanted, in a manner suggesting that we could have anything we wished. We then accepted the invitation from you, in a time to be named later, but soon. Our Contact asked the dominant if those in the little box had started breathing again, expressed apologies and the hope that we didn’t harm them with our communication.

The ambassador on the surface was pleased with this. He politely asked that we not speak to them, but only to him. I then asked him where the woman was who sang the song. He requested one one thousand four hundred and fortieth of the time it takes his planet to rotate relative to its star to secure an answer. It actually took a little longer, but we were patient, considering the mistakes we had just made. He then explained that some dominants possess the same name, but if she were from his region, he could tell us where she was for certain, and all that was needed was her pension number, which is most distinct.

This was our introduction to planet culture. He knew exactly who this person was, and we thought she may be missing or stolen. We found this shocking, and I felt mild anger. Communication was routed to Contact. She told him that we were on a research mission from far away, that we meant no harm, and that we would resume communication later. The ambassador requested that if we were recognized as visitors by any dominant, to inform him as to whom they were. Contact asked what the procedure would be if we didn’t secure their pension number during the encounter. Then the ambassador stopped breathing, but was healthy otherwise. She informed him that we would have to halt communication due to concerns for his health, and we then conferred with you, the Empiricists.

PERSONAL APPENDIX, CONTINUED

"Don’t they know of others?" I asked the Empiricist envoy upon entering, through my gill enclosures, against protocol.

"Some do. I talk with them everyday."

He twirled and swatted my helmet softly with his tail. I formed a circle with my mouth and rocked my head a few times. The greeting was heartfelt. I had worked with this Empiricist before. He peered up at the planet.

"I like it here. Did you know that I prefer the color blue?"

One can’t help but develop a fondness for this species of Empiricist. They tend to stare, but they aren’t dumb. Their company is pleasing, since you know a little more about them with every encounter. Among the mammals, they are the quickest, and they don’t waste movement. They have progressed far without developing opposing digits. They are clean and methodical, and like us, developed species find them relaxing to be around.

"Now that you mentioned it," I said, "I did notice that you choose the color for your clothing, and that you gaze upon it often."

He motioned to a spot on the surface of the planet.

"Note the dark green valley with the water condensing in the atmosphere to the left. Blinding white. Soon, the currents will take the water over that valley, and for a while, they won’t speak to us."

Content, perhaps gleeful, he stared up at the planet. Then he swung his head, and yes, if I weren’t as powerful as he, I would’ve found his stare disconcerting.

"They’ll come out again," he told me. "Sometimes they ask things for no reason that we can determine. I speak metaphorically now: Sometimes they climb trees for no set reason."

"The box. The box the inhabitants are in."

"I’m glad you brought them up."

"Weren’t they sent up before we arrived?"

He showed me the underside of his snout. His amusement was at my expense.

"Sorry. One of their figures of speech. You raised the subject of the box into the conversation."

I understood.

"If you go down there, which I advise against, you’ll hear something like that in nearly every utterance. With physical gestures. The inhabitants in that box are intelligent. So is the ambassador you spoke with. They are the best the planet has to offer, but most are constrained through their specialization."

He excused himself and preened the back of his ear.

"It’s a good argument against empiricism," he continued. "Perhaps they would make better Eclectics. Their intellects match ours. Their knowledge is limited. The box is for research only. You can find accounts of similar devices in your own history. They go anywhere and try anything they can. We try to warn them. You think curiosity nearly killed some of our cultures off, you should observe them awhile. We suggest that you do that from a distance."

He put his nose near the window and was silent a while.

"So. You came here on a song."

I understood. "At first we thought it was a distress signal."

"It’s pure entertainment. They slump around and listen to it. They move to other varieties, like a prelude to mating. Or they may slump around and listen to that same variety of music."

My gills remained closed.

"You hadn’t discovered that yet. We observe world cultures more frequently, and in a more detached manner. We don’t study such complex behavior, but it can be endearing. This wouldn’t be the first time a song has been mistaken for a distress signal, I’m sure. The presentations don’t warrant close study. They would use the most powerful notes of despair to express content, or power."

"Do you know where the woman who sang the song is?"

"No, I don’t. I doubt any Empiricist knows. That would come through thorough cataloging. I prefer that sub-genre of music, though. It’s a synthesis of the more studied and the more popular."

"I know the more studied type also," I told him. "Sometimes you have to cock your head while listening to it."

"Sometimes the more popular type makes me want to use the nearest portal."

He stepped to a station and accessed information that I would need.

"I like the music that you were attracted by," he said. "Saying that on this planet would be a great complement. I hope you find the woman. When I hear her, I’m entertained and wish her well. I prefer that you don’t land to find her, but if you intend to, I’ll introduce you to our cultural section. They might talk you out of it. Otherwise, they’re just starting to catalog this type of behavior. They can give you some advice, and we’ll give you access to our files on the planet. But you’ll have to pick through them yourselves."

He mentioned that the condensation had passed over the dominant communication base.

"I do this because I’ve always liked your particular species of Eclectics. However, I’m repelled by water. That puzzles me."

REPORT TO THE EMPIRICISTS, CONTINUED

The support of the Empiricists during the expedition was invaluable. Feel free to mention this within trade zones.

PERTINENT EXCERPTS FROM THE EMPIRICIST VISITOR’S GUIDE TO EARTH

In case of contact with humans

As travelers, felines mix well among ordinates and superordinates. To primitive cultures, we appear as a nightmare. Travelers who look similar may not have to assume human form during overt encounters here. Overall, observe courtesy. Approach frontally. Keep sudden entrances to a minimum.

Visitors can encounter smaller animals without negative results. However, some Earth species can be dangerous to visitors, regardless of whether those visitors assume another form or not. Those capable should consider taking human form when planning to encounter humans and their companion animals. Cats, dogs and horses have been able to detect a difference nevertheless.

Human Behavior

Humans function as individuals to a high degree. Use vigilance. Behavior varies widely. This can be used to your advantage in overt encounters. These dominants have been exposed to well-presented fictional representations of visitors, and some have a great interest. This factor, and an initial statement that you mean no harm can make the experience a positive one. Revelation of your status, of course, should only be implemented when necessary. Avoid sudden verbal announcements. In enclosed areas, make your entrance slowly phased, humble, but dramatic. Consider other visitors who may be around. Where such revelation has been necessary, some visitors have found the experience gratifying. Humor can even be used.

Communication

Most humans cannot direct thoughts or receive thoughts directed to them with any regularity. They use wave communication, in a variety of distinct languages. When translated directly, verbal statements are indecipherable without considering figures of speech, idiom, interjection, profanity and other exclamations, which are used more often than not. Look for other indications of mood.

Expression and attitude

A working understanding of these individuals requires extended interaction. In most regions and cultures, eye contact and the lifting of the corners of one’s mouth facilitates positive interaction among humans. Silence may indicate anger, content or illness. When humans feel something is ironic, absurd or humorous in general, they may experience a diaphragmatic spasm accompanied with a vocalization of the ‘ha’ syllable in rapid succession. Most notable are arm and hand gestures, which are a vital supplement to verbal expression. Visitors have mistaken these gestures for an attack. So have other humans. That fact underscores the complexity you face when landing.

Humans curl or stretch horizontally in repose. In semi-repose they may fold their legs, placing the upper portion on the lower in a crouched attitude, or place their bottom on a horizontal surface.

Locomotion

Human movement is bipedal. They also use machines powered through the flexing of their bodies. A cooperative method of transport, on the backs of other animals, must be seen to be believed. Carts or sleds are also used, pulled by one or many. Rapid locomotion is achieved in vehicles which move across the surface, or aircraft, both powered by fossil fuels they have found.

Special note on interpersonal psychology

Human behavior varies widely in prosperous regions, such as the one you are entering. Some dominants express themselves primarily through humor. Others are compelled to use only negative displays. Some are solemn and task-oriented, and others lack motivation. Most humans in this region are average, considering these extremes.

Special note: general

Species tempted by live animals and/or insects should take care on this especially fecund planet. Among many human cultures, devouring live or twitching prey is taboo. You can be tempted even when in human form, and gratifying that urge when in form during an encounter with humans would form a negative impression. Eat your fill before landing.