The Dark
By WriterInTheDark
- 752 reads
I’m here, can you see me?
See the grin on a face,
Held up by string and tied in a noose.
Tightening slowly, slowly in its choking grasp.
I’m here, can you smell me?
Smell the anxiety and despair;
The melancholy emptiness in one bitter breath.
Fear of all and nothing filling the sinuses.
I’m here, can you taste me?
Taste the sour saliva and salty tears.
The metallic blood spilling out from shallow veins;
The sweet disguise that slips past the tongue.
I’m here, can you feel me?
Feel the gnarled limb squeezing the stomach.
Inducing hot and cold waves of emotion;
Fire and ice raging a war in a broken body.
I’m here, are you listening?
Listening to the sorrowful voices pleading for peace;
Hidden in a carefully careless laugh.
Are you listening to the stifled sobs?
I’m here, can you see me?
No;
No, I don't think you can.
It’s easier not to.
But I am here.
Somewhere in the dark.
This deep, forever dark.
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Comments
I like the way this shows
I like the way this shows that depression invades all the senses. The description of the grin 'held up with string' is particularly striking and really conveys the mask that people use to disguise the reality. And of course, as you indicate, often people with depression can't 'see' what is really going on for them.
Good piece. I enjoyed reading it and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work!
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line 3, I think you mean
line 3, I think you mean 'held'?
An interesting attempt to explore the longing for help, and for someone to notice in some way the concealed signals of struggling depression, while hiding and retreating from any obvious revealing of anxiety and desires for sharing. Rhiannon
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so sensual
empathy can be a great strength for writers, a must actually. Yet empathy implies that we feel the pain of others and since so many of us have pains of our own, it's difficult to tell when the writer is writing about themselves and or imagining the pain of others. In the end,this separation is not as important as the words themselves. Stephen King isn't an insane serial killer. I try to separete the writer from the words. I wrote a piece recently that bothered me to write. It's called Mere. I was feeling it too much and was glad when it was finished. Anyways, Im gonna make a point of reading your work. Keep it goin'
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