Toilet Trouble At The Loo Roll Summer Ball

By forest_for_ever

Sat, 21 Mar 2020
  • 554 reads
2 comments
 

Toil and Trouble At The Loo Roll Summer Ball

 

Bold and loud the MC stood

"The guilty must take their places!”

The Master of the Rolls thundered accusingly

As he slowly surveyed the sheepish faces.

 

All the Bogofs had been summoned

Yet no one could hear the clarion call

T’was to be a grand occasion

Toilet seats stood to attention

For the Loo Roll Summer Ball

 

“Kleenex? Cushelle? Andrex?

Take your partners and bow real low

The Toilet Tango dance will soon begin

The guilty now before you really need to go.”

 

Stabbing notes mocked in strict staccato beat

The floor stood bare and accusing

Guilty faces snapped sidelong

The fires of Hell no match for their blushing heat.

 

The great doors bulged and splintered

The people gasped and cried out loud

A giant toilet tissue ball

Had come to wipe their guilty faces…

Now it was to be tufts of grass for all.

Certificate PG
Poem
Is it me or is the world grumpy?
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by airyfairy on

I had a real chuckle at 'Master of the Rolls'.  Nice one, forest.  I think future scholars will write entire theses on why, in 2020, people's first reaction to catastrophe was to load up with loo roll.

Submitted by forest_for_ever on

Thank you, that's kind.