Russell chapter 1 The great family mix up

My name is Russell , I do nt understand the modern world one little bit just the other day I was in the feathers and I said to Elsie the barmaid .

Elsie I said what’s the deal with all this “ me too” and that , that’s all over that inter web. Any how she said “it’s third wave of feminism “ I said “ well the first two waves must have passed me by cause I do nt know what their on about. 

Her with the eyebrows, that model is always on about it and how much she enjoys sex on documentaries, me mum would have said we do nt talk about that kind of stuff in public “ . “ What will the neighbours think I mean they talk about out on the telly these days. 

“Anyway up or down are Sandra is dating a black man. He’s from hull he works on the ships he right tall I would nt  want to take a left hook off of him. His names Paul I call him tall Paul for a laugh. I said how do you like are country? He said he was born in stoke and pulled a face”.

Bloody hell I were only asking I thought, things are different now me grandad never left are village till he was 17 and went ta war he’d never met a Jock  or a welshie for that matter. 

England where different then bobbies said hello , you could leave your doors open and nowt got nicked ,no one had anything to nick. 

Me wife’s pasted now I miss her she were funny she did nt get technology like me. In the 80,s she sent me down the video shop to get one of them pirate videos , bloke at work told her they were good I did nt know they were rip off ones not real ones. 

We use to have some laughs though, she d go what’s the weather like . I d go look out the window. She, d say it’s raining, I d say do nt talk wet.

I do nt know what she d think of how are Sandra’s turned out she goes out round town all fur coat and no knickers and she wonders why lads look at her Well they wo nt look at her now with that Paul on her arm he d chin em , bet he’s got a left hook like Joe Fraser. I said to him do you do a bit of boxing ? He said no he hates violence he’s more in his guitar and he can play right good an all. I said you blacks have got natural rhythm, he pulled a face again and walked off. 

Sandra said he does nt really like me , I did nt mean out by it , I like him I thought may be I should make a bit more of a effort. We both like country music his dad got him into all the classics back in Kenya as a nipper John Denver , Johnny Cash , Kenny Rogers. I was going to say “ I did nt know they had country music in Africa “ but I thought better of it.

Anyway times gone on and he’s like the son I ve never had . Sandra said we just needed time to get use to one another. She’s wise like her mum I miss her every bloody day. That’s why I am always in the pub, can nt stand an empty house. Still it’s nice now going round Sandra’s, Pauls knocked her up , but he’s making an honest woman of her . They put the horse before the cart the youngens these days. May be now she ll dress a bit smarter now she’s got a lad and is going to be a mum.