Meredith's Darkness

Although Winter was loosening its grip, it still had a few icy fingers wrapped around this March afternoon. Meredith felt the all too familiar shiver as a chilling darkness slowly began to suffocate the day, like a serpent's deadly embrace. She snatched her shawl from the sofa and covered her vulnerable shoulders against the intrusion. It was here again.

She did the rounds of the house, checking and double checking the doors and windows, never convinced that they would do their work, never happy with their constant frailty. How could it gain entry so easily when such precautions were in place? How could such fear breach her defences so silently and penetrate her mind, burrowing through her consciousness into the depths of her inner being? She was defenceless against the unimaginable guile that this thing possessed. Her only hope was to take refuge, close her eyes and wait until the ordeal was over.

She put two large logs onto the open fire and watched the sparks as they raced upwards into the unknown. It was out there somewhere, waiting. She could sense what precious light remained being chased away by the encroaching darkness and above all she could sense the relentlessness.

Her acute hearing detected a faint rattle; a door somewhere, or perhaps a shutter. It was always the same, it always began with indeterminate sounds, sounds too clever to identify themselves, sounds deliberately designed to scratch at her flimsy mantle of defiance. She dropped to the floor and crawled under the table like a terrified blitz victim, fully aware that her feeble attempts at shelter were futile. 

She closed her eyes as she always did during these attacks, but could still hear the approach. The door handle rattled and the lock was tested against the frame, every audible sound piercing her mind like a shard. The door opened and swung back against the wall and footsteps echoed along the hallway. It was here again, shapeless and indeterminate. She could sense the evil drifting into every corner of her sanctuary. She shuddered and pressed her hands ever more tightly against her ears, trying frantically to force her mind into a safer place, a place it couldn't reach, somewhere it could never find her. 

She pictured the promenade and fought to hold the image clearly in her mind. She heard the waves and all the familiar sounds of happiness that had bathed her life before it arrived. She heard her mother's gentle voice and felt the warmth of her hand as they descended onto the beach to feel the soft sand caressing their feet. The waves licked at their toes and tickled their ankles and the soft sea bed embraced them like velvet slippers. She held on to this image with all her might, screwing up her eyes against yet another sinister intrusion, another violation.

And then, as if by some miracle, and for the first time ever, she heard a distant muffled voice. Not its voice, but a voice with a much softer tone, more measured, more reassuring and gentle. At first it wasn't possible to make out individual words, but the graceful cadences and soft undulations gradually began to breach her outer defences with remarkably soothing effect. 

Very gradually, recognisable words drifted across her and she welcomed them as friends. She allowed them unfettered access into this new and unrecognisable realm. The darkness terror was dissipating, melting away into the distance; she was no longer hiding under her table; she was no longer under siege. She was somewhere entirely new; not on the beach with her mother and certainly not being besieged by  her darkness.

The familiar comforting voice drifted into her consciousness and called her name several times. Meredith....Meredith....our journey is over. She heard it counting; one, and then two, and then three....and suddenly the darkness melted and she very slowly opened her eyes. 

Her surroundings were familiar and unconfined. Sunlight streamed in through the window and warmed the leather couch on which she found herself resting so comfortably. She felt incredibly light headed and for the first time ever, free from the terrors that had haunted her since childhood. She sat up and looked around at the diplomas and the book cases and the familiar mahogany desk. The gentle voice smiled at her and she smiled back. Words had become superfluous now. Her darkness had been banished and they both knew instinctively that this would be her final session.