Leggings - Maria says it all.

IN the shower, after 9.30 on Sunday Morning.  I wish I could say bright and early, only it wasn't.  I have to go get some water as I'm alergic to tap water.  It's my day off too, Phyliss has gone to some designer conference up country, and Kitty is out visiting her daughter in the city.  I'm at a country retreat for the weekend.  Brought my new portfolio with me, the next suggestions are due.

Anyway, the shower is flooding down and I'm singing tunelessly along to the running water.  When outside it all kicks off. It's either a helicopter or a tracter = the noise is over taking the water!

Voices ring out,
"Is she ready yet?  We must have an answer.."
"Why?" some woman calls back.
Maria Hitler screams out of the window furiously, "I answer for her...  she doesn't want to get up yet."
 
He calls back, "We'd rather see her, thanks!  We must have an answer on the book as well."
"You can take my word on it," Maria states sharply.
"It could cause trouble," he said sternly, "She might call it stealing."

"You don't need to talk to her," Maria warned him off.  "I do all the talking.  She doesn't. She doesn't. Hear me?"
Blimey what a tyrant, I thought busily soaping.  I'd hate that if it t'were me.  I don't want amy more wannabee's to support.  People can write thier own books these days.

"If you sure," said the Pilot nervously.  The helicopter or tracter pulls up or away.
 
I get out of the shouer and step into my new leggings, bright blue with little gold dust triangles.  Maria continues to barrack with her pals in the distance.  I wish I'd found somewhere else.
"Nothing she cand do," Maria explains in a superior manner.  "It's not as if they've ever taken the time to tell her they want.  and then she giggles sharp as a nail.  "they like me better, I'm so perfect, five foot eight at least and so beautiful in figure..."

"You mean it doesn't matter?" gasped out her friend, "What she's done here in the UK?"
"NO they prefer it to be me..." smiled Maria, "I've won you see, in England as in Scotland..."
"The greatest plot of all time," said her friend softly, "We come through as your Grandfather predicted."

I change into a skirt.  I'm five foot four and I feel I'm great... how about all of you out there?  I used to think that mostly the Hitlers were okay - up until Adolf not a troubled family.  Now I wonder what years of safety in Scotland have achieved...