Omar's Diary up to Wednesday 25th March 2015

This is so embarrassing but once again I have to apologise for the gap in my diary publications since my last entry.  Life is just so hectic, well it is for the servants.

Most fortunately I have not got any long lasting health issues after my attempt at freefall earlier this month from a first floor window.  The fall itself was quite pleasant it was the sudden stop at the end that was not too good.  I was on painkillers, not drugs, for a few days and all is well now.  No need for any other treatment or investigations.  And before anyone asks, no I did not have to have a cat scan thank you.

I did hear the vet mention that apparently felines can fall from up to five floors and land without damaging themselves.  This height is supposed to give us enough time to adjust our bodies in advance of the impact at the end of the fall.  It is a bit worrying that an academic somewhere in the world carried out this research and I really do not want to hear about their methods.

Speaking of research, I was able to carry out my own the other day.  My theory is that spiders’ ears are in their legs.  I had one cornered, meowed loudly and it ran away.  I removed its legs, humanely of course in the cause of scientific research, meowed loudly and it did not move.  Therefore my conclusion based on empirical research methods is correct.  I believe the acronym ‘QED’ is applicable in this situation.  My research did rather upset the lady servant.

In the last diary I mentioned that senior man servant had to go into hospital.  At the time of his admission my servants were led to believe that he was going to be kept in for a few days for observation and more tests.  Sad as this stay in hospital was, it did seem to be working out OK as they were going away for a couple of days on a business trip and would not be around to help him.  Just as they were packing the car and their bags they had a phone call from the hospital to say that senior man servant had been discharged a few minutes ago and was waiting outside in the cold for a taxi.  I can read servants’ body language quite well and I read TENSION.  Most luckily man servant’s brother was coming down to visit senior man servant so he was able to help him out for the rest of the day including getting him home instead of using a taxi.

At the same time as my servants left I was summarily incharged into hospital for a couple of days.  I felt fine, especially with painkillers, so I don’t know why this happened.  On check in the vet said it was best as they could monitor me and administer further painkillers over the next two days which the servants could not do as they were away.

Hospital was actually quite good but only for two days.  I had full en suite facilities and when there were no other patients around I had the run of the place.  I avoided the treatment rooms and surgery but enjoyed the reception area.  It reminded me of home as there was a desk, a keyboard and flying fingers tapping away.  Honestly, the temptation was just too great to resist.  My sport for the stay was being an absolute fusspot over my food.  They tried three different varieties, which were all good enough to eat, but I thought I would test the limits a bit.

My new sport at home is just when the servants settle down in the bedroom with an open window I subtly get myself on to the windowsill and catch the night breeze.  You should see the reaction from them that makes Husain Bolt look pedestrian.  One or other of them jumps up, grabs me, closes the window and then puts me back on the floor.  I have this timed to perfection to take place just as they look comfortable.  Who needs TV when you have servants?