Double Oh

Double, Oh! by J.B. Pravda

"Sir, I feel compelled to tender&;#8230;with regret, my resignation
from Her Majesty's Secret Service" announced the fabled licensed to
kill secret agent for the storied MI6. He had sleeplessly pondered his
future before arriving early that morning before M, head of the
agency.
"Bond, are you daft?" M dismissively responded. After a pregnant pause,
Bond retorted.
"Suh, if you please, when I signed on for this dangerous duty, I was
totally committed to Her Majesty's cause of making the world safe,
under Brittania's experienced stewardship of an otherwise factious
world; now, I simply cannot go on&;#8230;.you see, I have willingly
laid my life on the line, as you well know&;#8230;" interrupted, M
sallied forth: " Look here, you have been of great
service&;#8230;what is it, a world without Ernst Stavro Blofeld not
challenging enough for you; name it, Bond, and we'll try to meet your
needs, as we still, most assuredly, need your devoted services."
Finally, Bond let it all out: "Suh, I simply don't know who I am any
more&;#8230;..but my adversaries all know to look for Connery, Moore
and those other clownish imitators, they can see me coming."
Undeterred, M, after much reflection, offered up the solution heartily
embraced by Bond----summoning Q Branch via intercom, Bond was forthwith
accoutered with the trappings of feminine guile------wig, whip,
stockings, the whole gender transformation.
"From this day forward, you are Agent Double D, licensed to thrill!" Q,
long frustrated by Bond's arrogance and disregard for his life-saving
gadgets, chortled.

Bond shot both Q and M, reasoning that he was still technically
licensed to kill.