Obituary, Aut-
By amordantbaron
- 675 reads
Autobituary by J.B. Pravda
NOTE to readers: In a bid to boost circulation, this paper offered
longtime subscribers, such as me the opportunity to pen our own
swansong; promised to be free of posthumous editing (who are they
kidding?, however, one of my son's a lawyer who has instructions to sue
them if they renege), so, here it is (and remember, if I sound cranky,
I'm old, relax, you'll get your turn, at least if you subscribe to this
fish wrapper-----send your kids to law school, yet get to say this
stuff):
First of all, don't expect any revelations about white light, I wrote
this beforehand&;#8230;.pay attention!,
&;#8230;&;#8230;.except that it's just that sort of thing that
happens when we 'come in', you know, via 'Mom's' uterus, so you figure
it out------look, if you're like me, you've made the trip countless
times (see karma, etc.).
Now&;#8230;..well, not 'now' literally&;#8230;..oh, yes, here's
what I did and learned in my time among you: (that's right, no resume,
inflated with how important I and/or someone else thought I was----if
you knew and loved me, you don't need it; if not, bugger off,
ok?)
First, Play the Beatles' music often, and listen to the lyrics: they
were a wise bunch of lads&;#8230;&;#8230; 'and in the end, the
love you take, is equal to the love you make&;#8230;'; sing it in
your head when you feel like Hell;
Second, I believe&;#8230;.and you'd better, too&;#8230;that Artie
Clarke and Stan Kubrick were right, if for no other reason than I can't
think of a classier, more cosmic exit/reentry than the closing scenes
of 2001&;#8230;&;#8230;.with the Monolith escort, the Starchild
imagery&;#8230;.oh, and while we're on the subject, forget Darwin,
the monkeys, blah, blah, blah&;#8230;&;#8230;.look, no way was
there enough time for evolution, which needs LOTS of it, uninterrupted
by natural disasters, volcanoes, extinctions, etc.----just look up the
latest mainstream science on mitachondrial DNA, and start thinking for
yourself before it's&;#8230;well, time for you to maybe write your
piece&;#8230;&;#8230;face facts, a superior being/force
manipulated our basic equipment, result, you and I are having this
written dialogue (ok, it's a monologue&;#8230;..you die, then it's
your turn);
Third, and finally, get to know yourself; how, you ask&;#8230;.glad
you asked: take off the mask(s)&;#8230;.you know, the one(s) you
wear so that others, including family, will 'approve' of you; give me,
and yourself, a huge break&;#8230;&;#8230;this ain't no circus,
and, hopefully, you ain't no clown, ok; gotta go&;#8230;..hey, if
this is in print, I'm already 'gone'!
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