V: Fisherman's Curse
How many morning have you stood at the door, ready to head to the
lake once more? You say "I'm gone fishin', don't care what you say.
I've worked hard, and deserve to go out and play."
You kiss me goodbye and head out once more, but I know what will
happen, it's happened before. When you come home, it's always the same,
you'll be looking around for someone to blame. You'll tell me that I
must have cursed you today, because when you got there, the fish went
So, lately, I've thought that I might just as well wait till you leave,
and cast a dark spell.
A voodoo doll and a little black book should keep all the fish from the
bait on your hook. I'll don a black dress, paint my face white, fire
the candles, and turn down the lights.
Then I'll open up my little black book and look up the curse to turn
good luck to bad, and bad luck to worse. I'll stand in a circle of
hooks, line, and lure, and hold to your voodoo doll to be sure.
When timing is right, I'll hold you up high, and summon the catfish god
in the sky, command him to send fish demons galore to darken your day
as never before.
I'll laugh, and dance, and chant with glee to cause you to snag your
line on a tree.
Then, with a shout, just for your sake, I'll send all the fish to
another part of the lake.
Your friends will be catching fish one by one,
but I'm happy to say that for you, there'll be none.
I'll then bow and give thanks to the great catfish god, for letting me
curse your fishing rod.
So, next time you point your finger to blame your loving wife for
causing you shame, just think how silly it is anyway to think I could
curse your fishing day.