Hairy Porter and the Wizards of Oz

One day there was a boy called Hairy Porter and he had a Z carved in his head by the evil wizard Zorro, so Hagrid took him away on a motorbloke and put him on a doorstop.

His Aren't Petuna and Uncle Verlong made him sleep in the wardrobe under some stairs. At night they wissled and played the monopoly so he couldn't get to sleep.

Hairy ditten like his cussin Dugly so he fed him to a snape in the zoo, only he ditten know the snape was really a portions miser at Hogwarts.

One day a letter come and Uncle Verlong et it. Then lots more come and owls purched on the sealing and Uncle Vernon got cross and went to live on an Ireland. In the hut on Ireland was Hairy and Dugly and Pet Tuna too.

It was Hairy's happy birthday and he was sad becos there wasn't any party. Then Hagrid come and give Dugly a tail with his umbrella, witch is really a magic wound. And he give Hairy a birthday cake and some sossidges.

Hairy goes away with Hagrid and they do a ton in the sky on Hagrid's mutterbike. When they get to Darkroom Alley, which is a joke becos it means something else, Harry gets some foreign money from Grubsnot Bank and Hagrid gets a parcil. Then Hairy gets some books and a madgic wonned and a saucepan for portions and an owl instead of a postman.

Next Hairy has to catch a train only it's on a platform nobody has ever heard of, so he has to wait for some weasels. Ron Weasel shows Hairy how to walk through walls which never works when I try it. Gin Weasel is there too, only she stays behind becos she is drunk or something.

On the train there is a lady with sweets and Hairy buys them all with his foreign money. Then Hermit Grunter comes and tells them off for doing their madgic all wrong. And Malfoy comes and be's nasty.

Then there's lots of books and Hairy beats Zorro and everybody cheers.