Hippocracheese

By flapdoodle
- 490 reads
Some years ago, my wife-to-be and I holidayed on the beautiful
Dodecanese island of Kos.
Kos was the stomping ground of one Hippocrates. He was a bit of a
bright spark, generally considered to be the founder of modern
medicine. He developed, practised and taught his trade on this very
island.
It is said that Kos still produces many doctors and medical
practitioners, no doubt all keen to follow in the sandalled footsteps
of the old doctor. There must be something about the history of the
island - maybe some deep racial memory - maybe something in the air -
maybe something in the water - that gives rise to inventiveness in the
field of medicine, that makes people in this part of the world want to
heal.
There is also a written legacy. The Hippocratic Oath is still sworn by
doctors today. To the untrained eye - such as mine - the Oath is a
little like a cross between a set of Commandments and a Boy Scout's
promise-list. It is a code of ethics rather than a "How To be A Doctor"
list.
Anyway, after a few days on the island, after a few days of sun, sand,
sea (and the other "s") - after after a Certain Incident - I found
myself studying the Oath, scouring every sentence, phrase and word in
an attempt to find references to dairy products therein. There appeared
not. I thought that there might be some oblique mention; maybe he did
not specifically speak of non-meat, dairy products for fear of angering
producers of and vendors of other foodstuffs. But no. Not a Hippocratic
Babybel in sight.
Why was I looking for dairy products ? What was this Certain Incident
that inspired my studies ?
One evening, after a day of sun, sand and sea (but not the other "s") ,
I bent down to tie my shoelaces and - Ow ! - I whacked my eyebrow on a
chair.
Enter wife-to-be Edna, 31, qualified Nurse for 14 years and ITU
Specialist for the last 6-1/2 years. Without hesitation, she swung into
action, the deep-rooted medical vibes of the island obviously having
made a positive impression on this lovely lady.
She carefully examined the dented eyebrow,
She opened the fridge door,
She pulled out a 2oz packet of English Cheddar Cheese,
She held it firm against said brow.
I sat in silence for a minute and considered this high-tech
treatment.
"Ah ! Is there some kind of enzyme that emanates from the curd and
permeates the hisute cutaneous membrane, thereby interfacing with the
inflamed nerve endings, resulting in a negating of the pain ?", I
asked, somewhat pleased with myself.
"No", replied Edna. "It was the first cold thing I could lay my hands
on".
Quelle fromage.
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