My True Knight

I was lost in a land of clowns and monsters. Panic threatened to
suffocate me as I gazed around, searching for my mother's familiar
form. But my eyes ached from looking. My head span. I was trapped in a
whirlpool of wonders. A devil twirled past and above me, his black
cloak whipping over my cheek in a silky caress.

I called her name and gazed imploringly up and around, somebody had to
hear me. A white hook-nosed face leered down, the lips blood red. A
clawed hand reached for mine and I cowered back, pulled away through
the jumble of harsh stamping feet to be surrounded by more towering
beings, who threw back their monstrous heads and roared with laughter.
Something seeped through my hair and the smell of beer caught in my
nose and throat. I turned and tripped over a fairy's foot. I scrambled
onto all fours, narrowly avoided being trampled by an elephant and
rolled and wriggled, crawled and twisted away, my back met stone and I
leaned against the wall breathlessly, squeezed my eyes shut, listening
to the jangle of bells and the cries and the laughter.

When I opened my eyes again they were dazzled by silver. My jaw
dropped. A knight stood before me, tall, magnificent, his helmet
gleaming in the sun. My saviour. I stumbled to my feet, hope in my
heart, words starting on my lips.

As I watched he pulled his gleaming helmet off, and humanity reared its
balding, wild-eyed head, he whooped at me and poured drink down his
throat. He looked down, his eyes almost seeing me. His mouth parted and
I waited for him to speak, but he suddenly swayed and leaned and fell
down on me. He slammed into my shoulder, I shrieked, twisted and
tripped backwards. When I looked again he was throwing up in the
gutter. I reeled away in shock. Landed hard on my backside, somewhere
new.

Everything was still. I looked around at the empty, cobbled side
street. Looked back and saw chaos, the pure noisy hell that I had come
from. I hugged myself and felt my shoulders relax. Where was my mother?
I peered into the raging inferno, but there was no way I was going back
in there, so I stood and walked numbly away from the noise. I stared up
at the warm stonework on either side, and when I came to the edge of a
canal I sat with my feet dangling over the side, calm in the Italian
heat. My mother would find me soon I was sure, and at the moment I was
just fine so why worry?

But I looked down and the water seemed to darken. I twitched nervously
and looked over my shoulder, but everybody was at the carnival and the
street was eerily still. My back started to hunch. The world seemed to
sizzle with hidden threats. Air was rushing fast into my lungs and my
heart pounded on my ribcage, I looked down and thought, imagined that I
saw two glassy eyes staring back at me from the water. It was more than
I could take.

I was running, tears streamed down my cheeks and I was almost comforted
when I reached the crowd with its clowns and monsters. They were not
nearly as scary as the danger inside my own head.

"Mummy mummy!" I bawled. "Mummy mummy mummy!" But all around me leered
alien faces and I shrank in the hopelessness of it all. I hid my face
and hot tears poured down my cheeks.

A cool hand gripped my arm and I flinched back, but when I looked
around it was her, hair shining gold in the sunlight.

"Where'd you shoot off to?" She said, and her hand squeezed tighter on
me. Her gaze was flinty, I knew she was angry? But then she saw my
tear streaked face and her eyes softened. "Oh sweetheart don't cry,
come along! You're alright now, you know. No harm done." My mouth still
crumpled and she embraced me. "Come on, do you want a piggy
back?"

"Yes," I mumbled, and I was lifted lightly onto her back.

I looked over her shoulders at the colours and the strange, laughing
faces, I felt the sun on my arms, there were man-beasts all around, but
I felt no fear.

I'd found her again. She was my saviour, my true knight.