The Nobel Prize For Guessing

The Nobel Prize for Guessing.

I think they've finally lost it. The Magic Roundabout boffins and their
particle accelerators. They are colliding to confusion, faster all the
time and more and bits are flying off. Their conclusions are roughly as
follows...

One cat can be in two boxes at once.

Light from a galaxy knows when we are looking at it.

When you stir your tea, Betelgeuse makes it go up the sides of the
cup.

These are not hypotheses, they are facts from Zebedee and
Florence.

They say 'Don't try to understand, just accept it.' Well that isn't
reasonable is it. We can't help trying to understand everything. If we
paid a 'Beyond our Comprehension' Tax, we wouldn't like it. Sorry, that
example's like VAT.

Science has been jumped into the realms of nonsense and enough is
enough. The world law as enacted by yours truly now categorises Quantum
Mechanics to the Forbidden Mystery status. Like Devil Worship. Put all
that effort and money into the making of cars and pizzas.

Alternatively, we can all join in and have a go and get ourselves a
Nobel Prize for Guessing.

If it's right one day, they can't ignore you, you thought of it
first.

I claim the following insights....

Light is not a wave or a particle it is an ointment.

There are six billion parallel universes, i.e. one for each of us. The
proof here is that when someone else puts something away for you, you
can't find it. Of course not, it's in their universe.

Gravity is elastic painted with invisible ink.

There are more particles in an atom than stars in the sky. Just.(A sure
fire winner)

That'll do. They all sound so reasonable.

Our scientists will say, look at the advantages we've already got from
them, microwave ovens, cyberpets, etc. Ok but we've got them now and
it's like pontoon. Lets stick unless we twist and bust.

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