The Shnagworm in the Moon

THE SHNAGWORM IN THE MOON

The fadwingers ran through the minefields, guns in their hands. Their
helmets sat slightly askew on their heads, because of their horns. As
they ran explosions sounded all around them. The sky was green and the
sun shone blue. It would have been a nice day had it not been for the
war between the fadwingers and the shnagworms. It was the shnagworms
fault, really. At a meeting between the two leaders of the groups the
shnagworm leader threw a salted pancake in the fadwingers leader's
face. The leader had been most appalled by this and stormed out of the
meeting (but not before biting the head off the shnagworm's leader's
chocolate pet drewding first.)
Now the two species were at war. One of the fadwingers stopped in the
middle of the battlefield and dropped to the ground. He lay there for a
few seconds and then jumped up in the air, firing bullets into the
mushy ground beneath him. A second later a quivering worm stuck its
head up from the ground and collapsed, blood leaking from the bullet
holes punched in its skin. The fadwinger picked up the worm and turned
to the onlookers who gazed in puzzlement. "It's poisoned!" he
cried.
"Ohhh" the onlookers said in unison. Suddenly a small, circular object
came screaming from the sky.
"Onion Grenade!" echoed over the field, and quick as a flash the
fadwingers had their gas masks out and over their snouts, apart from
one. He was too slow and when the onion grenade landed the green vapour
floated into his eyes at once. "Bwaaaaaa" bawled the unfortunate onion
victim, as he was quickly carried off the field by the
paramedic-paragliders.
"Damn" one of the Fadwingers said, "That's the fifth Onion grenade
victim this week. If this doesn't stop soon our whole battalion is
going to be turned into manic depressives before you can say
sniggysnoggywillywallyjeebieheebiebellyjellydalicocous". Those were the
last words he ever said. He was quickly mowed down with a fountain-pen
nib gun.
Meanwhile over on the Shnagworm base the Shnagworms were all enjoying
the fifth annual Noughts and Crosses tournament finals. They had a few
of their team based around the perimeter to keep the fadwingers at bay,
but unfortunately for them they had no-one watching the sky, and the
fadwingers used this to their advantage. Suddenly the Shnagworm's base
was covered in the dark shadow of a parachute. It was a top of the
range model. The new sportsmake, " Grannies Undies". The fadwingers
landed on the roof and cut the parachute from themselves. One of the
fadwingers knelt down and tapped on the roof. "Knock, Knock!" he
said.
"Who's there?" asked a thick German accented voice.
"A present for" the Fadwinger replied.
"A present for who" The Shnagworm asked again.
"A present for you", came the reply.
"Really!?" the Shnagworm said, opening the conveniently placed trapdoor
in the roof and peered out. A cheerleading scorpion attacked his eye.
He fell to the ground, interrupting the Noughts and Crosses final. The
Scorpion stood up and began waving pom-poms around and started
singing,
"Two, four, six eight, who do we appreciate? Not you guys! Not you
guys!" A shnagworm stood on it crushing it with his hoof, but also
moving into the line of fire. He was immediately shot in the head with
an anvil gun. The fadwingers entered the Shnagworms base, for a battle
with the remaining three Shnagworms. Note: Shnagworms are creatures,
which are cheesy yellow in colour and don't wear any clothes, as they
have nothing to hide. They are bald and have crater-ish markings on
their skin.
The first two Shnagworms were killed in seconds, (They proved no match
for the excrement cannon.) The third Shnagworm cowered in the corner of
the base crying. One of the fadwingers pulled out a bike pump and
placed the nozzle in the Shnagworm's mouth and began pumping. The
Shnagworm grew huge and round, so big, in fact, that he destroyed the
base and began to float in the air. The fadwingers watched as he
stopped somewhere in space, and, in their native tongue, called him the
biggest insult known to fadwinger, "MOON!", and that name has stuck
ever since.
The End