Your guide to school LURVE

We all want to look gorgeous, it's the way a girl's mind works. A
bit o' lippy here, you say, and you end up looking like you've drowned
your lips in polish. Smoky eyes, you say, and it ain't smoky, it's what
looks like a blackeye. And the first sign of a zit and you've covered
your whole face in zit cream. And that's when you're NOT in
lurve.
Lurve works in cruel and mysterious ways, unless you truly are
absolutely gorge without need of any make up, and it forces you to see,
what you then believe, is 'The One' in rose-tinted glasses.
You mistake his idiocy for coolness, his ability to get on with other
fellow idiots, his popularity, and his custom made tatty (and yuck)
jeans, a sign of 'art'. The way he has his dandruffed quiff is a sign
of coolness and that blackhead on his cheek? A beauty spot for
bois.
No mistaking, after your body has flushed out 'The One', you'll realise
all these facts. And you'll wonder why the hell you told him you
fancied him in front of the class, and attempted to chat him up with
corny chat up lines. Chances are, you'll avoid him for the rest of the
life, and therefore avoid (sigh) his best mate who is sooo gorgeous and
sooo clever and is definitely 'The One'...