Yoda looked out longingly through the bars of his prison. In all of his 800 years, he had never experienced such a trial as this. The Sith may have truly defeated him.
The human known as "Mary" arrived to peer at him and make her usual incoherent "coo coo" noises. She leaned over and picked Yoda up from his prison. The humans call it a "crib" here but Yoda recognizes a prison when he's in one.
Mary put him down into the special torture chair the humans had devised. It was very tall and kept him locked in place with a tray where they put the most foul-smelling, disgusting slop that he had ever encountered. As he screamed from the indignity, the humans would swoop in with more of the guck and shove it into his open mouth. If he tried to resist, the torture became even worse. Another human known only as "The Tickle Monster" would stand behind the chair and touch the inside of Yoda's arms. This would make Yoda both open his mouth to receive the "Gerber squash"... and to pee himself. After a few more attempts at controlling his bladder, Yoda decided to passively accept the swooping method of torture instead.
Yoda had heard rumblings that the Sith's Force Powers had been growing stronger as hatred spread across the galaxies but this - this was more than he could have ever imagined. Sith Lord Dick Johnson had illusioned Yoda into appearing and sounding as a baby using the Force lllusion power and then sent him into the Hellscape called Earth.
At first, Yoda thought the magic would fade and he would eventually appear and sound like his true self. As days of being held captive and picked up by strangers went by, he began to doubt that waiting was a viable solution. Frankly, all of the rocking back and forth was giving him motion sickness.
As Yoda muttered to himself, "do or do not. Do or do not" over and over again, an actual child wandered over to him. "Why you here?" Yoda dropped his mouth in shock. Although the sentence structure was poor, this was the first time Yoda had been directly addressed with actual words instead of squeaky nonsense.
"I was trapped by a Sith Lord and sent to this world to appear as a baby."
The child appeared to mull that over, sucking softly on his pacifier.
"Kay. I have plan."
Yoda was shocked. After thinking about his predicament for weeks, some human baby knew what to do after one minute? He couldn't even speak proper English!
"Playdate 'morrow. Take you to big guy at naptime." With that, the child wobbled away.
Yoda spent another endless night staring at the spinning figures high above his prison. Mary eventually arrived cooing nonsense at an even higher pitch than usual. "COOCHIE COO COO NEW BABIES TO PLAY WITH YOUUUUUUUUU". Repeatedly.
Mary took him outside to a sandpit filled with toys and children. Yoda looked around and saw the nameless child from the other day. The child looked over, gave him a quick nod, and then continued throwing sand in the air and crying when it fell back down onto his face.
Finally, it was the long-awaited naptime. All the kids, including Yoda, were brought into a room filled with colorful blankets and the sound of soft humming. Each child was carefully set down on a blanket and quietly told to "Go Night, Night, don't let the bedbugs bite." Mary dimmed the lights in the room and softly shut the door.
Yoda immediately popped up from his blanket and started scanning the room. "Hey! Who's?".
"SSSSHHHHHH"s from all over the room interrupted his question. A slightly older child on the next blanket whispered "Shut up! We gotsa be quiet or else the growns come back!!"
Yoda laid back down and tried to meditate enough to feel The Force. He could still feel it but only barely. Finally, the nameless child waddled over with a bigger, older boy. "This big guy."
"I'm Ethan. Jack here, he told me you have a problem. You're stuck. And old."
"Okay. My granny Gwynne is the smartest ever. She can help anyone!"
After another endless day of "playing", Granny Gwynne showed up. Jack excitedly ran over to her, pulling her to Yoda. "Granny Gwynne, he needs help!"
Granny Gwynne looked down. "Hello Yoda. It's been a long time. You look a bit different from the last time we met."
"Augwynne Djo! Can you understand me?!"
"Well, of course. I heard you had gone missing and many Jedi are searching the galaxies for you."
"I don't understand. Only Jack and Ethan have been able to see and hear beyond the illusion."
"All those truly in touch with the Force can pierce the veil."
Granny Gwynne picked him and Jack up in her arms and walked to Mary. "Mary, I know this child and will be taking him with me."
"Umm, I'm not sure...maybe I should...tell someone?"
Granny Gwynne started towards the door and called over her shoulder, "You tell them to contact ME if they have any concern."
Granny Gwynne invited many Jedi members to appear at her house that night. Most of the members either knew Yoda or had heard of his reputation. Using Force Meld, they were able to destroy the effects of the Sith Lord's power on Yoda.
As Yoda stretched to his full height (which admittedly was still pretty small), he vowed to defeat Sith Lord Dick Johnson so that his perversion of the force power could never happen again.