A Few Simple Rules

Hold the door
Take my arm
All of this can do no harm
I have a present for you, boy-
The rules for treating girls

I know your birthday-
When is mine?
You better get a gift in time!
The gift that I'm giving you is
The rules for treating girls

Please be polite
Do not spit
I will teach you bit-by-bit
Everything you need to know-
The rules for treating girls.

Don't pass gas
Please smell nice
That's the way to toss the dice
This a crucial part of
The rules for treating girls

Buy me flowers
Be a bard
Believe me, it's not too hard
Poetry and roses are in
The rules for treating girls

This may seem
Like quite a lot
We know you're not Lancelot
But master these and then you'll know
The rules for treating girls.