Reflections

By Beeme

Sun, 13 Dec 2009
  • 1544 reads
11 comments
 

Our love is like a ghost, revisiting
and haunting each second of my life.

My fingertips print screen your face
from a photograph on my bedside table,
I can't forget you.

I can see x-ray images in you, the
tissue connecting your lies has broken
and finally left us to anticpate the
future.

You have many secrets and your words,
they're anagrams compelling my constant
attention.

I am lost in the movie of your eyelids,
screening perfect reflections of you
and perceptions of me.

Certificate PG
Poem
Love

Comments

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Hi there, Beeme. This is another good one. Actually, the final line where you say, 'and I' should in fact be 'and me'. I.e. that is to say, perfect reflections of you and perfection reflections of me...One of those times it is correct to say 'you and me' and incorrect to say 'you and I'. So as to the final stanza, maybe:- 'I am lost in the movie of your eyelids, screening perfect reflections of you and perceptions of me'. Something for you to think about anyway. It is just a suggestion. You're the poet after all;-) Tina xx

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thankyou Tina, I really like your idea for the final stanza, I have added some other stanza's. Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
This works very well now, Beeme. I particularly like this stanza:-) 'You have many secrets and your words, they're anagrams compelling my constant attention.' And whilst we are on the subject of anagrams, this weekend's Telegraph prize crossword was a nightmare ;-) Far removed from your lovely poem. Tina xx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
There's some great images in this one Beeme - especially love the x ray image! ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Ooops my laptop seems to have had a fit and posted my comment again!

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
There's some great images in this one Beeme - especially love the x ray image! ;) Magic xxx

 

Submitted by shoe on
Really like every stanza and it finishes perfectly, :-)

 

Submitted by Beeme on
Thankyou Tina, Magic and Shoe, glad you enjoyed. Beeme xx

k.

Submitted by Beeme on
Sorry about the double post!

k.

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Beeme This is brilliant writer you are, and can put your emotion's and feeling's in.When I was 19 whoop's long time I made someone in forces a jumper? but I was told parting gift's.didn't know or believe. I do hope your feel bit brighter, marriages not cracked up to be everything, like a swing! I could tare my hair out sometimes, saying.To be accepted in all, and do and say.Your young and life before you, believe me be strong,like your wonderful poem's. sorry not quite right word's so taken out Love julie x

Submitted by Beeme on
Thankyou so much nathan and Julie. Beeme xx

k.