Balls
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By big stu
Fri, 17 Jul 2015
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1 comments
What's the point in golf some might say?
Thrashing round in bunkers all day
Chasing little, white balls
While your score just appalls
Is a sure way to turn your hair gray!
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Comments
Nice form and funny!
Nice form and funny!
I did find the last line breaking the rhythm, I think it felt natural to emphasise 'way' rather than 'sure'. Maybe that's just me, I did get how to fit the rhythm, with a bit of thought. If you wanted to change it, something like 'is quite sure to make hair turn to grey' might pick up the rhythm better, but there again, as I said, maybe it wouldnt to someone else! Rhiannon
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