Morning View

Morning View
Brian felt the ghosts that screamed through the corridors, none of them
aware of the existence of the others. They were one and only one. They
searched for their souls, their only key to the gates of heaven. He
felt their hearts break each time one of them realised their was no
going back. Their footsteps inaudible to everyone else but them.
"Perhaps we are the ghosts?" he thought as he inhaled. Just then the
thought became just as significant to him as his breath.
A nurse approached him, Brian had recognised her from the last time.
She walked ahead of him as she guided him to a bed. He found it hard to
keep up with her brisk walk, his small legs would not carry him as fast
as hers did. He looked in all the beds along the way and became
enchanted by a young girl who was playing the mandolin. Each note was
perfectly executed and flowed with such power it brought tears to his
eyes. The young girl waved at him and he moved towards her. She put her
mandolin down beside her and offered him a seat at her bedside.
"Are you cold" the girl asked looking at Brian's shaking and swollen
arm.
"No" he paused "are you?"
The girl ignored the question and took a tear from Brian's cheek. She
laughed and rubbed it on the ball of her thumb.
"Are you lonely? You seem lonely" she asked staring at the ball of her
thumb
The nurse suddenly reappeared and looked at him strangely. Brian shot
up out of his seat and looked at the nurse.
"An amazing instrument the mandolin" he said to the nurse
"I guess I am yes but my loneliness is nothing but the product of
pride" he whispered. He turned to leave with the nurse. The girl picked
up her mandolin again and played as he walked away.
He carried on with the nurse. When they came to an empty bed the nurse
closed the curtain. Three hours later Brian walked out with a cast on
his wrist and X-rays in his hand. He walked past the little girls bed
and she was gone.
"They must have moved her" he thought
As he walked out a young man was being wheeled in on a cart from the
ambulance bay. Doctors screamed and shouted at him and Brian heard him
roar back with all the energy he could muster. But they just ignored
him and continued their rant.
*************
Brian sat alone in his apartment. He looked out of his window and he
felt the lights of the city mock him. They moved at such a speed that
it made him feel that everyone had somewhere to go except him. He saw
everyone working to feed their hive and to keep their queen's happy. It
was more than he could bare. He closed the curtains and sat alone in
the dark.
"Everyone can find beauty in their surroundings, because it is
something they can share" he said to the room.
He almost hoped that the room would reply with some consoling words.
But it never came and he knew it never would. He could pick shapes out
of the dark and mould them into whatever he wanted but he couldn't
mould his loneliness into something beautiful. It stayed on his skin
like a bad smell and was projected to the world like a botched tattoo.
He couldn't wash it off no matter how hard he tried. He was forty years
old with no wife and no children. He knew no one would call, the phone
was only there for show.
"Forty years and nothing to show for it" he thought.
He opened his laptop and allowed its light put a small blemish in the
rooms perfect darkness. He got up from his seat as he waited for his
computer to boot and opened the curtains again. It was late and the
homeless were settling in for the night. They huddled together for
warmth. They put their arms around each other as the cold wind blew
harder and harder. As they moved closer together they looked like one
big ball of rags.
His laptop gave off a short sound to notify him that it was ready for
use. Brian opened his e-mail and found only junk mail. One
advertisement did catch his eye however and he opened it.
"Mail Order Russian Brides (Click Here)"
He clicked on the link and it brought him to a website.
He turned the cursor to close the page but stopped. He thought of all
the men with the beautiful wives that he felt didn't deserve it half as
much as he did. He started a debate with himself over what he was about
to do.
"Mail Order Russian Bride? Its nothing short of prostitution, but in
the long term. They are selling people here Brian. Selling them, like
slaves. Its not right" he said
"It may not be right in the traditional sense but its definitely not
wrong. I have been alone for so long I have forgotten how to act in
other peoples company. How can you say that wanting to live out the
rest of my days in the company of a nice woman is wrong. Its not as if
these women are doing it against their will. Russia is a slum, I could
be getting her out. I can look after her" he shot back
The other voice quietened down and he entered his details. Brian was
then confronted with a screen that gave him a choice of ten women. He
saw Kristina Kitschy and he fell back in his chair in amazement.
Everything ran through his head in that moment. A house, veranda ,
lemonade, hot summers, cold nights, front garden, back garden and it
all flew by in an instant. She cost more than the rest but Brian was
willing to pay out. He had nothing to spend his money on so he had
amassed quite a lot of savings in the latter part of his life. He
stared at her picture for hours until he fell asleep without the
slightest hint of regret.
"This will be perfect" he thought "I know it"
*************
Brian walked up the stairs to his apartment. His cast was bothering
him. An itch he could have scratched before they put the cast on was
irritating him even more now. He fumbled with the keys in his hand. He
couldn't get the right key. As he struggled with the key he began to
think. Kristina's profile had described her as "capricious".
"Psychotic" he felt suited her better.
The door opened and as he entered he smelt both cigarette smoke and
vodka as their distinctive odours wrapped around each other to create
an altogether new disgusting smell. Kristina had made him drink a
bottle of that vodka. He passed out after a drinking a quarter of it.
She then got up and poured it on the walls and used it to strip the
wallpaper. When he awoke he crawled to the phone himself and called an
ambulance while she slept. She didn't care for him and he knew that
now. The sound of the Russian underground rave scene came to greet him
as he entered the living room.
"Your arm, you fix it?" she asked in her cold Russian accent "I not hit
it hard enough I suppose" she opened her mouth as wide as she could and
hurled her laugh at him as she played with her baton.
"I did nothing to you, why are you doing this" he pleaded
"Oh well, small little fat pervert man wants explanation" she turned
down the music and looked him up and down "I will sum it up for you,
you are weak and I am strong."
Brian left the room in a rage and ran to the her bedroom. He gathered
all of her belongings and ran back into the living room. He threw her
things at her. The Russian rave had been replaced with Bach and
Kristine was opening a window and encouraging the awful stench to
leave. She looked down at her clothes and then looked up at
Brian.
"What are you doing, Brian?" her tone had changed. It seemed sweeter,
the missing verbal abuse was quite evident.
"What am I doing? What are you doing?" he asked, putting his hands
through his balding hair in disbelief.
"Have you been drinking this vodka? What have you done to the
wallpaper? And since when did you smoke?" she appointed accusingly.
"you own this?" she pointed the baton at Brian and he shuddered for a
moment. She shot a smile at him and he was becoming more and more
confused. He sat down and put his head between his knees. She went to
the kitchen and fetched a glass of water.
"Are you alright, Brian?" she asked when she returned.
She handed him the glass and rubbed his back in a gentle circular
motion. He knew it wasn't right. This was the same woman he had met at
the airport. But what about the time in between.
"What day is it Kristine" he asked staring into his glass. The
reflection of the water distorting his face.
"It is the fourteenth, the second day of our relationship" she said
triumphantly
"Kristine it's the sixteenth, the fourth day of our relationship" he
said turning to look at her.
"I don't get it" she smiled. She gave him a perplexed look "I don't get
the joke"
"This is not a joke" he shouted
Brian ran to the kitchen and pulled down the calendar from the wall. He
showed her the date and the date on his watch. She still just stared at
him blankly and smiled.
He remembered her profile
"Forget psychotic, Capricious was a definite misallocation of the
truth, she is schizophrenic" he thought "or is she, she's messing with
your head. She only changed when you were going to throw her
out."
Suddenly the little girls mandolin started to play over Bach. He knew
Bach was timeless but the mandolin seemed to be invading him yet again.
It went back to the place in his mind that it had become so familiar
with the first time he heard it.
"What kind of girl plays a mandolin" he said aloud
"A what?" came his response.
*************
The night passed by silently as Brian lay awake considering what he
should do about Kristine. She wanted them to sleep together that night
and he didn't know what to say except yes. She lay on his chest and
fell asleep to the sound of his beating heart. He couldn't sleep. His
cast was irritating him again and he was afraid of the uncertainty of
which Kristine he would wake up to come the morning. He felt the lights
of the city pass over him. He waited for them to stop on their way to
wherever they were destined and mock him. But they never did.
*************
Kristine awoke from her slumber and found Brian asleep, oblivious to
the world around him. She felt dry and went to the kitchen to get some
water. As she walked out of the room, she caught a glimpse of herself
in the mirror. She stopped to look. Her body naked for all to
see.
"What did you let him do to me" the mirror asked
"Nothing, really" she shot back almost immediately
"Nothing? I can feel it, you slept with him." screamed the mirror
"I'm sorry"
"He?" the mirror pointed at Brian accusingly "He raped me"
Kristine ran out to find her baton. She gripped it tightly and ran back
to the room. Brian lay asleep. There was a smile on his face, a shy
unmistakable smile. There was a frantic panic stricken look on her face
as she swung her leg over his body on the bed. Kristine turned to find
the mirror.
"Please don't" she pleaded with the mirror
A tear fell from Kristine's face as she held the baton over her head.
The tear fell on his forehead and he opened his eyes lazily.
"Kristine?" he said through his yawn
The baton came down
*************
There was an odd silence as Brian lay on his rolling hospital bed. He
knew something was wrong but he didn't want to break the clouds of
concern that hung over him. The young girl appeared at the side of his
bed, her mandolin in her hand. The doctors seemed to take no notice of
her as they continued to pass their instructions back and forth.
"Still lonely Brian?" she asked
She took his hand in hers and suddenly Brian's perception changed. He
felt himself and thousands of others in her hand. Her pulse coursed
through his veins and his soul was revealed from underneath the
epidermis of flesh and bones. His confusion ran to the hills, to where
it thought it was out of the range of the worlds most powerful weapon.
Love.
"Always" he replied, "Always"
"You know I can give you a choice" she whispered as her hands clutched
around his ears.
Brian nodded to the girl.
"Stay or go?" he continued
"Yes"
He was moved into a large room and implements were passed over him
frequently. .He stared at the girl and saw that there was no colour in
her eyes. She already knew his answer and began playing her mandolin.
One doctor looked up at a clock in the corner of the room and addressed
the rest of them. Brian could not hear what was said because of the
mandolin, but he really didn't care. They turned off the machines. The
girl stopped playing the mandolin and there was silence as the doctors
looked at him intensely. It was as if they wanted a response from him.
They resigned themselves to this strangers death and went to
leave.
"Who called for him, there was no registered spouse or children?" said
a female doctor
"Some Russian woman claiming to be his wife" replied a nurse
Their voices faded as they walked away.
*************
Brian stood on a ledge almost at sea level. It was dark and sun was
still negotiating with the ocean to see if it would let it break its
perfect stillness. But at this time the ocean stood steadfast. The
water lapped up onto the ledge and surrounded his ankles. The ocean
knew the sun was going to win but it remained stubborn enough to push
it to its limits. There was a jungle to his left. He felt the tension
as the plants prepared themselves for the suns arrival. He heard them
beg the ocean to give in. The sky was preparing to make room for the
sun as the darkness packed away its belongings and readied itself to
leave. It didn't give up much of a fight because it knew it would be
back. A choir roared and the sun broke the ocean's skin.
Behind him the waves were breaking far from the sand.