My Fairy

My Fairy

Being five months pregnant was making it harder to keep control of the weeds, but I still enjoyed my walk up the garden every evening after tea, and pulling some of the more accessible ones. This particular time, I wandered along the path until I came to a favourite rose of mine. It was just starting to come into bloom, and the heady perfume was already beginning to fill the warm still air around it. I sat down on the grass beside it, drained the cup of coffee I had with me, and just enjoyed the late afternoon sun.
After a few moments, I heard a rustling sound coming from a nearby Hosta plant. I peered into the wide green leaves, expecting to see a bird or even a mouse or something, but I couldn’t see anything. Then I heard it again, so I carefully moved the biggest leaf out of the way. Now what I saw, came as quite a shock as you can imagine, it was what can only be described as a fairy. She was about three or four inches tall, dressed in a silky looking white dress, with long blonde hair falling down her back between her fairly small translucent wings.
I was totally transfixed, as she slowly moved back and hid, as best she could, behind the stalks of the Hosta. I stayed completely still, and held my breath as she crouched down and stared back at me. We both stayed motionless, each waiting for the other to move, until I heard a sound from the house. Jon had come in from work, and called out to me from the kitchen, “What are you looking at so intently up there?”
Unfortunately, this was enough of a distraction for the fairy to move, and before I realised what was happening she was gone. I tried to see where, but there was no sign of her, so I let the leaf go and called back, “Quick Jon, come here, but be as quiet as you can, I think I’ve just seen a fairy.”
He came up the garden to where I was sitting, “A fairy, what have you been putting in your coffee?” He smiled as he knelt down next to me, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
“Seriously, I’m sure it was a fairy, it was here just under the Hosta.” I pointed to where I had seen her, and he moved the leaves back to open the area up, but there was no sign.
“I know having a baby messes with your hormones, but I think even you’ll agree a fairy is a bit unlikely love, don’t you?” He stood up and offered me his hand, “Why don’t you come in now, you’re looking tired.”
I took his hand as he helped me up, and thinking about it, I suppose it did sound a bit daft really. Fairies are things you believe in when you’re a kid, not a grown up soon to be mum, I began to think he was probably right.
The next afternoon at about the same time, I went quietly up to the same place and sat down on the grass again. Making as little noise as possible, I pulled back the biggest leaf to see if she was there again, but there was no sign. I must admit, I knew I’d probably been seeing things, but a part of me wanted it to be real, she was so beautiful, ‘these hormones of mine’ I thought.
I was just about to let the leaf go, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw a movement behind the branches of the rose. I stayed completely still, staring intently in the direction of the rose, and sure enough, there she was again, just visible peering around the biggest branch at me. “Hello” I whispered, “I won’t hurt you.” She looked back at me, but didn’t say anything. I tried again, “Hello, who are you?” Still she stared without moving.
I wasn’t sure what to do, and my arm was now aching from holding the Hosta leaf, so very slowly and without disturbing her I let it go. She watched me quizzically, tipping her head slightly on one side, so realising she wasn’t so scared this time, I moved a little nearer, “Hello, my name is Jenny … What’s yours?”
After a short pause, she smiled, and in a very soft voice she said, “Hello, my name is Rose, like the flower.”
“That’s a pretty name, where are you from?”
She looked quizzical again, “I’m from here, at the moment.” She stepped out from behind the branches, and slowly fluttered her wings.
“What do you mean by ‘at the moment’? Where do you come from?”
Once again she moved her wings, and then skipped back behind the branches of the rose, humming a pretty tune. I lost sight of her for a moment, but she re-appeared near the Hosta, then she waved and disappeared again.
I sat for several minutes, but she didn’t come back, so I reluctantly got up and went back inside.
The next afternoon I went back again, and sure enough, after a few minutes she appeared beside the rose bush. “Hello Rose, how are you today?”
She giggled softly and skipped around on the flowerbed flapping her wings. After a while she started humming her pretty tune again, and then she started to sing my name to the tune.
“I’m glad to see you again Rose, are you going to talk to me today?”
She came over nearer to me, and sat on a stone sticking out of the earth. “What do you want to talk about Jenny?”
“I just wondered why you’re here I suppose” I said rather lamely, “It’s a bit hard to know what to say to a fairy.”
She laughed, all the while moving her wings gently back and forth, “I’m here till I’m ready to leave.”
“When will that be?”
“I have to wait for my wings to get stronger, strong enough to fly, then I can leave, but for now I can enjoy your garden.” She stood up again and skipped around the flowerbed.
“You talking to that fairy again love?” Jon’s voice called from the house.
I turned and waved to him, but by the time I turned back to the flowerbed, she had vanished. Jon walked up, and gave me a kiss, “Where’s this fairy then?”
I just shrugged, “I was just enjoying the rose. You’re home nice and early … help me up.”
We went back to the house, and had tea. Although we chatted and watched TV, I couldn’t help thinking about Rose the whole time. There was so much I didn’t understand, so much I wanted to ask her.
The next afternoon, I didn’t feel very well; I had a low pain in my stomach and I felt sick. I decided to lie down for a while, but didn’t feel any better. The pains were getting worse, and I felt really strange, and I thought it was time to call Jon. I told him how I felt, and he told me not to worry, he’d be straight home.
The next few hours passed in a bit of a blur, I remember going to the hospital, and the comings and goings of the nurses and doctors, but most of the time I just felt sort of blank and empty. The doctor finally came up, and told us that I’d lost the baby, and she had been too weak to survive.
I went home after a day or so, and Jon stayed off work with me for a week. We talked and cried, then talked and cried some more, until I felt I couldn’t cry any more, and there was nothing more to say.
Jon went back to work, and I tried to get back on with life. I stared out of the kitchen window up the garden path to where the rose bush was. It had been a while since I had even thought about Rose, and the garden showed the signs of neglect from the past two weeks. It was a nice warm afternoon, and I wandered up the path towards the rose bush, its fragrance still filling the air. I sat down on the grass, and absentmindedly pulled at some of the weeds.
“Hello Jenny.”
I was a bit startled, but I definitely thought I heard someone call my name, and hoping for the best, I pulled back the large Hosta leaf. There she was, leaning against the stalk of the plant, “Rose, you’re still here. I thought you had to leave?”
She smiled, “I’ve come back to see you.” She stepped out into the middle of the flowerbed, and I could see she had changed, her wings were bigger and she moved them more confidently.
“I’m so pleased to see you I’m afraid I’ve not been around for a while.”
“I know you couldn’t come, that’s why I’ve come back to see you.” She came towards me and sat down on a stone. “You need to know a little more.”
“What do I need to know a little more about?”
“When we choose to come into a garden, we are supposed to stay out of sight, and wait for our wings to grow strong enough to fly. I did this in your garden for a while, but I knew you would need me, so I let myself be seen. You see, when our wings grow strong enough, we learn to fly, until we’re ready to leave, then we fly to heaven.”
I tried to speak, but couldn’t form the words.
She stood up and walked towards me, coming to rest with her hands on my finger, “I was ready to leave a couple of weeks ago, but when I left, I saw your loss, so I asked to stay long enough to see you.”
I felt tears rolling down my cheek, but all I could say was, “Thank you Rose.” It was then that I noticed another small figure hiding in amongst the Hosta stalks, “Do you have a friend with you Rose?”
She turned towards the other figure, “She’s going to come with me.” With that, she went over to the other fairy, and took her by the hand. “Anyway Jenny, it’s time for us to go, please don’t be sad anymore, and remember me.”
A sudden feeling of calm came over me, and I smiled and said goodbye, as they walked behind the Hosta stalks. I waved, and they both turned and waved back, and I’m sure I heard the second fairy say “Bye-bye Mummy.” Realising why Rose had come back, I called after them as they flew up, “Enjoy heaven.”